Family Affairs and other matters

DOMINATRIX EXTRAORDINAIRE

Owing to a most unfortunate misunderstanding, it has recently come to my attention that Builder Bloke’s poor mother thinks I am a scary dominatrix with a penchant for S & M.

When we all stayed in the same house together recently, BB and I were allocated the twin room next door to his mother’s room. By the time we all went to bed BB had an incredibly sore ankle. Could barely walk. So for some strange reason I decided to try and sort it our before he climbed into his single bed. I made him lie on the floor in his underpants and I did some stretching with his legs and tried to manipulate his ankle a little to get it moving and ease the pain.

He spent the whole time making an enormous fuss. So the conversation went something like this:-

HIM: ‘OW, OW, OW, that REALLY hurts. DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO ROUGH?”
ME: “Oh stop being such a baby”….
HIM: “OMG. THE PAIN”
ME: “Just try and relax”
HIM: “Oh, that feels better, be more gentle, OOOOH that feels really good”

….and so on. You get the picture.

HOW am I going to explain to his mother what I was actually doing to him?

I am mortified.

“ALL CLEAR – WOO HOO!”

My gorgeous, beautiful, bubbly friend who had to have a mastectomy just two weeks ago was drinking champagne at home last night having been given the all clear.  The gruelling 6 hour operation where they took fat from her stomach and stuffed it in her breast and then reconnected all the blood vessels has worked.  She now has a flat stomach and a huge breast.  There is a bit of tweaking still to do but she’s completely delighted and is looking forward to persuading the surgeons to sort out her thighs, maybe stuff some other bits in her lips and cheeks, possibly ask if they can resculpt her bottom…..

Joking aside, our whole community has come together for her. She has been overwhelmed by more than 50 cards, more flowers than she’s ever seen, more home cooked food, help, love and support. Even I of the “what’s an ironing board?” mentality went and ironed things in manner of hopeless person. She generally irons everything in seconds. It took me hours to iron two things and when I was there trying to get her to sit quietly whilst I was useful my youngest son over-excited her daughter so much there was mayhem.

I don’t know why she has been blown away by all the support – she has this bizarre idea that she’s a bit of a fraud – looking at her in the hospital the day after the operation with drains coming out all over the place she still made the effort to smile and joke and had already managed to repaint her toenails – regardless of a wound that stretched the entire length of her stomach, which cheered her up hugely.

When she told us all yesterday that her tests were clear I think we probably all shed a few tears of relief – her text said “All clear – woo hoo! xx” Her mother, who never cries was sobbing…..it just says it all. Her surgeon told her that she was “the model patient”. She left the hospital in under a week and is making huge progress every day. She really has truly been amazing. Laughing, joking and being so immensely brave. Just getting on with what she has to do with a positivity we are all full of admiration for.

So, my lovely friend – you are an inspiration to many and we are ALL looking forward to many nights of celebration and “WOO HOO’S” all round.

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DIZZY SPELLS AND BRANDT-DAROFF EXERCISES

I am very disappointed. Finally I was referred to an ENT specialist to further look into why I am getting these dizzy spells (no they didn’t go away post ear syringe and FYI a lovely ENT specialist told me NEVER EVER EVER get my ears syringed again and that GP’s really shouldn’t do it because it’s so traumatic for the ear – also NEVER EVER EVER stick cotton buds in your ears. Ears are self-cleaning apparently and the wax is there for a reason). I explained the situation. Told him I was struggling to teach my Overall Balance classes with no Overall Balance and that there was only so much getting everybody to lie down on the floor and go to sleep for an hour that I could get away with and all he did was laugh. No sympathy whatsoever.

THEN he made me sit on the bed. Held my head at a 45 degree angle and flung me down one way. Sat me up after 30 seconds. Did the same the other way. Told me I didn’t appear to have the classic symptoms of Benign Positional Vertigo, asked me if I was feeling well apart from the dizziness and then told me that it would eventually go away and I’d be fine.

HE DIDN’T EVEN LOOK IN MY EARS! What sort of ENT consultant doesn’t check for earwigs or brain tumours by at least looking in my ears?

All he said was that I’d be fine and that t should go within 6 months. SIX MONTHS!! WTF.

I have stupid exercises to do that you really can’t believe will do anything but make you look like an idiot. That’s it. No MRI scan. No hearing test. Nothing.

Builder Bloke is beside himself. Says he can’t cope with me staggering around and being grumpy for another 3 months.

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BUSINESS MUMS WEEK STARTING 2/10/10

Sadly, whilst I haven’t yet worked out a way to turn my hobby into a business, I am sure there are a lot of you out there who might be interested to know that “Business Mums Week” will commence on the 2nd of October to raise awareness of the growing number of UK businesses run by mums. Throughout the week there will be a whole host of events including the Mumpreneur conference and a Mums in Business networking event.

To celebrate the event the two mums behind the hugely successful Cuddledry apron towel, have shared their experience and answered some vital questions to help mums thinking about making that all important decision to start up their own business.

Polly Marsh and Helen Wooldridge who started Cuddledry in 2007 first came in to the spot light after appearing on the popular tv show Dragons Den where they declined all three offers from the dragons and decided to go it alone:-

Since then they have gone on to grow the company themseleves and the Cuddledry brand has well established links with international, UK and independent retailers and one in twenty UK babies now has a Cuddledry towel. They have also picked up an array of business awards along the way.

When did you first realize you had a good idea for a business?
We had an overwhelming response when we did initial market research amongst parents, but the real crunch came when Mothercare came to see us at our first ever trade show and placed an order there and then!

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STATE SCHOOL PUPILS “DENIED CHANCE TO BE TOP AT SPORT”

According to an article in the paper yesterday state school students are failing to make it as world class athletes “because they do not get the chance to practice at school”. ‘Infrequent games lessons, small playing fields and a lack of support from teachers” was the reasons given for the fact that privately educated students [...]

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IS FOOTBALL A RELIGION?

My son had to hand his first piece of Religious Education homework in at his new school. He was asked to bring in a “symbol” that was important to him. I didn’t really want to influence his choice but was a little surprised when he printed this off – especially given that it is Builder Bloke’s team and not the one he was originally supporting last season:-

I figured that maybe they could then all have a discussion about how football is considered to a sort of religion in this country by many……

However, he came back a little dejected today because he said everybody else either had a picture of their family or a cross.

Oops.

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MAGGIE’S CANCER CENTRES – THE AUTUMN PARTY 2010

I was invited to the second annual Maggie’s Autumn Party last night, which was hosted in order to help raise vital funds for Maggie’s Cancer Caring Centres. I have written about Maggie’s before and was on the committee for the Anna Valentine fashion show earlier this year. I think it’s a brilliant charity – my friend Jo who died of cancer just a few months ago was able to benefit from the amazing support offered to her by the Maggie’s centre attached to the Charing Cross hospital and she wrote a very moving account of her visit here.

As described by someone living with cancer last night all of the Maggie’s centres feel “like you are walking in to your best friend’s mum’s house”. “A safe haven” as Janet Ellis says.

They hosted the event last night in the beautiful London headquarters of Phillips de Pury acutioneeers – a former Victorian Post Office in Westminster and an amazing space. I talked to lots of people and got some photos to show you:-

Amanda from Hills Balfour who gave the top raffle prize of an amazing holiday to Mauritius with Nicky Haslam and um, me:-

Amanda with Anneka Rice:-

Ben Fogle with red nose and beautiful wife:-

The chairman of Maggie’s with my NBF who won the first prize of a holiday to Mauritius:-

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