Comments on: CAN YOU BE FRIENDS AFTER DIVORCE?

By: Gloria Bacon

Gloria Bacon — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 14:51:31 +0000

Wow TC! This message so moved and inspired me! It was meant for me and I accept it and claim it as mine through the love and faithfulness of our wonderful Lord and Savior!

By: pozycjonowanie seo

pozycjonowanie seo — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 21:00:01 +0000

Great text and nice blog.

By: save marriage alone guy

save marriage alone guy — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 06:52:17 +0000

Great advice your talking about it so everyone else can know! Will use for sure. Also, took me a while to get it right, you have to bring about the place that first attracted you both and also prevent a ton of mistakes we all do at first if you want to help fix your marriage

By: family affairs

family affairs — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 14:34:07 +0000

In fact Dulwich Divorcee, I think I agree with you -whether you like them or not I do believe that you have lost respect for your partner if you choose to betray them – not at all harsh and I think v helpful. Lx

By: dulwich divorcee

dulwich divorcee — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 08:46:18 +0000

Actually I think I am the one person who agrees with the counsellor! I think there is a basic lack of respect involved in betraying your partner during an affair. Think you should avoid your ex as much as possible, particularly cut out the cheque thing, and let him come to you and try and be friends when all the dust has settled. You probably will end up friends – in about ten years' time! Sorry if this sounds really harsh but I hate to think of you wasting your time being nice to this man xx

By: mumplustwo

mumplustwo — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 10:11:37 +0000

Bugger. Wrote a long & thoughtful comment, then somehow managed to obliterate it in one fell swoop.

What I think I said was: pay your (v.silly) counsellor no heed!! ... men (and women) have affairs for a myriad of reasons but 'not liking' their partner is hardly ever one of them.

Re. friendship after divorce - Hmmmmmm.Without sounding like a complete cynic(and a manipulative, conniving bitch)- I believe in the philosphy of Chinese general and military strategist Sun Tzu (400BC or thereabouts) who was the first person to say: 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.' Not that my Ex (or yours) is The Enemy, per se... but... well, you know what I mean?

Don't aspire to friendship (too much room for disappointment) but rather an amicable working relationship that works for YOU. xx

By: Fat, frumpy and fifty...

Fat, frumpy and fifty... — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 22:03:02 +0000

Ummm. I dont believe at all that an affair is always about the coupl, some people are just have affairs cos they want to...but I do agree that HE was probably unhappy..

I do tend also, and this may shock many, that I agree with the Jerry hall's Mothers ...

that in the main, ....to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. ....or as a friend? once told me a blow job a day keeps the mistress away!...

poor Jerry...it obviously didnt work for her!! She must have taken her finger of the er ... pulse!!

I do feel that you are flogging a dead horse in trying to be friends with your ex...he made his choices...so screw him..or not obviously!

saz x

incorrectly posted comment earlier under the different jewellery co...I was signed into a friends blog that I am creating for her!!sorry.

By: Suburbia

Suburbia — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 20:42:39 +0000

I had an affair because my husband didn't care for me any more. I (perhaps stupidly) that that one day we may be friends, for the childrens sake. But at the moment we can barely speak more than 2 words to each other!

The more I have thought about our relationship, the more I have realised we should have only been just friends in the first place, which initially is what I had intended.

Oh hum.......

By: karen

karen — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 14:46:17 +0000

My first impression was - not a very nice counsellor.Of course there's so much more involved when it comes to affairs!

As a second wife, and stepmom, I can say that all of us adults being civil, and as friendly as possible really has meant a lot to the kids. At times it's been quite hard, and actually it's been a lot easier for me to be friends and communicate well with the kids' real mom, rather than my husband. 14 years of being part of this kind of family, and I'm still not sure what the 'right' thing is to do!

nb. the ex-wife has never had to come and get her money from us for the kids, or ever ask for it!! Bank transfers are wonderful things.

By: Mud in the City

Mud in the City — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:19:43 +0000

You can't just flip a switch and go from being in a relationship to being 'really good friends'. Emotions, history, ties don't work like that. And you can't force friendship either.

Stay civil for the children, love & live your own life. Then if, in the future you do become friends again, on a level playing field and without the games he's playing, great. And if not – it really doesn't matter!