Family Affairs

DOING THE RIGHT THING

It is my youngest child’s last day at his primary school today. He is feeling very strange about that.

He came back with a poem he’d written yesterday.  I thought it was pretty good:-

DOING THE RIGHT THING

If you can learn to buy not steal,
even when you can’t afford it.
If you can shake hands when you lose,
even if the opposite team has been mean to you.
If you can play with someone you don’t know,
even if they are younger or older.
If you can tell the truth,
even if it will get you in trouble.
If you get hit don’t hit someone back,
Just tell an adult.
If you have a new toy don’t boast,
Let them have a go even if you don’t know them.
If you do all these things,
Then you are doing the right thing.

TEENAGE HOLIDAYS: THE FACTS

My firstborn is safely back. Looking tanned and blonde and blue eyed – I hardly recognised him……turns out unsurprisingly that they did get into a fight with a large group of Spaniards, but it wasn’t 15 men – it was six women and two men. The women were far more aggressive than the men apparently – took off their stilettos as whacked them all, causing major stud damage – all except for one woman who was wearing flip flops who slapped them all about a bit instead.

The two men waded in but got a bit overwhelmed apparently by my son’s team of 7 – ran away, but ran straight into a football net on the beach that they couldn’t see in the dark and got bounced back and thrown on to the sand before running off.

I told him I didn’t want to know anything else.

Other snippets that have entered my consciousness included:- cigarettes were really cheap, they drank a LOT of gin, they slept till 3pm every day, they met lots of fab women – mainly from Ireland, they left the villa in a real mess, at this stage still expecting to get their deposit back (but frankly no way), they broke a bed (I didn’t ask), they drank lots of Sambuka….la, la, la, fingers in ears, I don’t want to know anymore….

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TEENAGE HOLIDAYS

I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of my firstborn child back home from his “boys on tour” sojourn to Spain. I have had very little contact from him since he’s been away. I know they all had an amazing time during the World Cup celebrations and I know that they are all [...]

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TOY STORY 3D REVIEW

As expected it didn’t disappoint.
Andy is now 17 and leaving for college. The most heart-wrenching bit for me was when his mother stood in his empty room preparing to face the prospect of the dreaded empty nest syndrome…..my son is the same age and it really hit home – just how fast [...]

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BANANAGRAMS NO 1 BEST SELLING BOARD GAME IN THE UK

I have realised of late that it is entirely possible to follow your dreams and succeed. It was no more than five years ago that I sat with a friend of mine in our local coffee shop talking about our new life as single parents and about our plans for the future. She was in the process of developing a new board game with her father who lived in the States. They had worked it all out, sourced the tiles from China, looked at the packaging, tested it on some of their friends and they were ready to roll.

Just a few years later and she now has the best selling board game in the UK according to The Financial Times. I texted her on Sunday – she’s in the US for the summer “buy the Weekend FT – amazing article and yr game got No.1 slot!!”. She hadn’t seen it. ” OMG PLEASE keep me a copy”. Just an amazing story and I’m so pleased she’s done so well.

I was having coffee with another friend this morning and it’s made me realise that she too may well find herself with a best seller on her hands in a moment or two. Having had 20 years experience in the drinks industry she has developed a new drink of her own. Her main focus was on a gap in the market for women. She has invented a new girly sparkly light alcoholic wine that is very fruity and tastes a little like an alcoholic Schloer – just so easy to drink and my daughter LOVED it, rather worryingly. Being one of four sisters her starting point was finding something lovely to drink whilst being around a table surrounded by other women: -

“I’m a passionate believer that women are women’s greatest allies; women need other women – in good times and in bad. A strong girlfriend or group of girlfriends can get you through things you’d never quite manage alone, and if you mess up along the way, they’ll still be there for you afterwards. What’s more – you’ll get to laugh about it, and those laughs help keep everything in perspective.”

They’ve just launched in both Britain and Ireland and I think it will do very well. There isn’t much for us women to drink at lunchtime or early evening that isn’t too heavy. We don’t want beer or cider but wine makes us too pissed to pick up the kids. So this is perfect. She said she’s got a few bottles to send to anybody who wants to try it. Why not send her a message via their website – or let me know and she’ll send you a sample bottle: http://www.carnabybrown.com/

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COPING WITH A STEPMOTHER

I know that coping with a stepmother is meant to be all about the children, but how do I cope with managing a relationship with their new stepmother??

In the “Sunday Telegraph” yesterday was an article about Danielle Lineker and her role as a stepmother. It looked at the negative popular culture view of the stepmother who since ancient times has been our favourite hate figure:- “Better a serpent than a stepmother” said Euripedes and how Danielle and a host of others are finding that it works best to be their stepchildren’s friend rather than their surrogate parent.

It looked at ways to get it right. How to create a life-long bond with a step child and the key appeared to be the co-operation from the child’s real parents and mainly about how getting the support of the real mother is essential.

I am quite sure that it would be in my children’s best interests for me to have a good relationship with their new stepmother, but does that really mean that I have to be involved? Our situation is a little more complex than most.

I got my second text from my X’s new wife today. I won’t bore you with the details – she mainly chose to tell me about Builder Bloke’s flaws, however the main point was that she wants to meet me to discuss the “truth”.

I really don’t think I’m ready to do that. My relationship with my X has nose-dived in the last few months and Builder Bloke thinks that meeting her is the worst idea in the world.

My aim, as ever is to do what is best for my children. I will meet her if I think we can develop a working relationship that helps them, however, to say that I am a little reluctant to put myself in the firing line again is an understatement. The last time I met her was when she inadvertently acquired my X’s number from me and now they are married.

HELP!!

Does anybody out there have any experience of this sort of situation? Does it really help the kids if we get on or would it be just as clear cut and simple if we had no contact whatsoever?

I did reply because I think it would have been rude not to, telling her that I was happy to meet after their honeymoon, once my X and I had resolved our financial dispute. BUT I DON’T WANT TO.

Yet.

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EMINEM NEW ALBUM “RECOVERY” UK NO 1

I LOVE the new Eminem album. Which is a worry. I’m sure I’m not supposed to. He’s back to where he was a couple of albums ago and most of the songs are worryingly catchy even with all those swear words.
This is a worry for Eminem fans because when the parents start [...]

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