Family Affairs and other matters

WHO’S THAT GIRL? (A.K.A. MADONNA)

Who’s That Girl? (a.k.a Madonna)

Here is a post from my blog buddy in Chicago Expat Mum who writes a brilliant blog and our children are all about the same age so it’s always interesting to compare what is going on in the US Vs UK with the teenagers.  Check her out here: expatmum.blogspot.com

So Madonna’s back in the news at the moment because of her new movie W.E. (about Wallis Simpson). She was photographed at very close range the other night at her premiere, by my bloggy buddy Lulu.

If you’ve followed Madonna at all, you’ll know she reinvents herself from time to time.

We’ve had the young, slutty Madonna with the lace fingerless gloves and bows in her hair

the channeling-Marilyn Madonna,

and the Geisha Madonna: to name but a few.

Apparently her latest aim is to look like Mae West – in her early 70’s

I have no idea why, but I really thought Madonna would buck the Hollywood system and age with grace. Or at least with a bit less Botox and filler than she’s currently sporting. OK, so I knew she wasn’t going to go totally European and Brigitte Bardo-esque. But this? Come on Madge. You can do better”.

What do you think? If you had the money – would you do the same?? Should she be a more responsible role model to the younger generation or is this simply the way forward and I have to start saving now?

KICK BOXING CLASSES

You know that boxing class I bought my youngest child for his birthday? Well, I joined in and although it nearly killed me we had a great time training together. Then I booked a few more for him and got my daughter (much to his horror) to join in as well. I knew she’d love it and I really want her to do it – great for her fitness and also for self defense if ever required. We have now had 3 lessons together and have already turned into Ninjas. I keep wanting to high kick the first person I see in the street and shout “HAAA YAAAA” in manner of Miss Piggy.

What a shame I didn’t discover kick boxing in my youth. Brilliant exercise and such fun; but now I’m too old to be any good at it and I’ve already got injuries. My arms are so weak they make little “poof” noises when they hit the punchbag and after several minutes of double punches I want to be sick. What is more, it was a HUGE relief to me that during the skip-as-fast-as-you-can drills he makes us do regularly that everything stayed (internally) where it should. I am thinking about mentioning to the gorgeous young male 30 something fit instructor that he should avoid AT ALL COSTS getting middle aged women who have produced three children naturally (if you can call it that) to jump up and down on the spot furiously for 10 minutes. It’s just asking for trouble – a small pool of wee is a probable outcome but a full on uterus ejection is also entirely possible.

Anyway, yesterday when we each had 5 minutes with him in the ring at the end, he stopped me after about 3 minutes and said to my children “now, here is an interesting example of what I mean when I told you that I want you to start developing your own fighting style. Unlike you two, your mother is maintaining control of the centre and I’m having to move around to stay out of her way – she has a far more aggressive style of fighting than you two – did you know your mother had such an aggressive streak in her?” and they both make faces at him that say, (if there were little bubbles above their heads) “does the pope shit in the woods and would he mind just popping out and calling the social services quickly before they have to leave with me and get beaten to a pulp later on”.

How odd that this should come as a total revelation to me. Up until now I have never ever hit anyone (except my ex husband; once, shortly after some particularly devastating news). I certainly didn’t think I could throw a reasonable punch. I did try and explain that there was a lot of shit going on in my life at the moment and perhaps that was why I was enjoying taking my aggression out on him and/or the punch bag. He thinks I should keep coming back. He thinks its very good for me to beat the shit out of something. Some might call it therapy.

Back soon to tell a rather awful story about what happened next.

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DRINKING WATER AN “URBAN MYTH”

NHS advice to drink six to eight glasses of water a day is based on an “urban myth”, according to a review of evidence in the British Medical Journal that came out yesterday.

THANK GOD FOR THAT. I HATE drinking water. It’s SOOO boring and you feel such pressure (especially as a fitness instructor) to hold a bottle of water at all times rather than the preferred glass of NZ Sauvignon Blanc. I have been majorly worried about this water intake for years – puzzled even. Ever since I used to watch my father and his friend down several gin and tonics after a sweaty game of squash in order to rehydrate themselves I have wondered what it was all about. I spent much time wondering why my father, who I never, ever saw drink water until the last few days of his life had the most wrinkle free skin of anybody I’ve ever met. It didn’t make sense.

Apparently there is also little support for the claim that most people do not drink enough water, according to Margaret McCartney, a Glasgow GP whose review of published evidence led her to conclude that the advice “isn’t borne out by any evidence whatsoever”. The article goes on to say that they can’t find out where the advice about drinking 8 glasses of water originally came from – well I suggest they look and see if there’s a correlation between the marketing of bottled water and all the “figures” and advice.

Honestly, isn’t this the most life affecting bit of research since um, the hacking disaster? We don’t have to drink about 2 litres of water a day any more. PHEW.

Presumably how much water your body needs is a very personal thing, based on how much exercise we do, how effective our body is at releasing water, what we eat, how much alcohol we drink and so on. Perhaps everybody will relax a little now and children’s sports days won’t be so stressful and we can fire the water police.

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WEAR SUNCREAM ET AL

I am both delighted and terrified that two out of my three children are away on holiday without me having the time of their lives I hope. I kissed my teenage son goodbye at 6am this morning and watched him pile into a car with loads of other mates whooping and cheering like a band [...]

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SMOKING KILLS

My 7 year old niece commented on a few smokers loitering in my garden over the weekend that “YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE IF YOU SMOKE” and of course she is right. The world has known smoking is bad for you since the 1950′s and should never be taken up as a casual hobby just because [...]

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ORANGE GAMES FROM INNOCENT

A new orange game on the Innocent website has recently started and they will be running a series of them over the summer. There are chances to win some great innocent prizes including the ultimate breakfast hamper. Have a go at the ‘Orange Harvest’, and then you’ll be able to play the other two games [...]

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GREEN LANTERN TICKETS + £250 SPENDING MONEY

CONGRATULATIONS to Fiona Gilbert and Grace who are our two competition winners chosen by the Make Mine Milk team. They will be in touch with you via Twitter about how to claim your prizes. Make sure you come and say hi to me tomorrow at the event. UPDATE!! The preview is tomorrow evening and I’ve [...]

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