I’m not remotely jealous bizarrely. I can’t wait for all that lovely, noisy, messy chaos.

Such a privilege.

He came back with a poem he’d written yesterday.  I thought it was pretty good:-

DOING THE RIGHT THING

If you can learn to buy not steal,
even when you can’t afford it.
If you can shake hands when you lose,
even if the opposite team has been mean to you.
If you can play with someone you don’t know,
even if they are younger or older.
If you can tell the truth,
even if it will get you in trouble.
If you get hit don’t hit someone back,
Just tell an adult.
If you have a new toy don’t boast,
Let them have a go even if you don’t know them.
If you do all these things,
Then you are doing the right thing.

The two men waded in but got a bit overwhelmed apparently by my son’s team of 7 – ran away, but ran straight into a football net on the beach that they couldn’t see in the dark and got bounced back and thrown on to the sand before running off.

I told him I didn’t want to know anything else.

Other snippets that have entered my consciousness included:- cigarettes were really cheap, they drank a LOT of gin, they slept till 3pm every day, they met lots of fab women – mainly from Ireland, they left the villa in a real mess, at this stage still expecting to get their deposit back (but frankly no way), they broke a bed (I didn’t ask), they drank lots of Sambuka….la, la, la, fingers in ears, I don’t want to know anymore….

I did have one call from one of the mother’s a few days ago telling me that they had all been in a really bad fight with 15 Spaniards on the beach – but when I quizzed my son about it he massively played it down – which means he either has concussion or he wasn’t there or that there are several versions of the truth. He did at least manage to persuade me not to fly out and collect him.

All I care about is that he gets home safely. Once I’ve got him back I will try to uncover the facts of the matter. Or perhaps it’s all best left unsaid. How much information did we ever give our parents anyway about what we got up to? What do I really need to know and why?

A friend’s daughter has just come back from the “Exit” festival in Serbia. NIGHTMARE stories from there. Heavy handed behaviour from the local police and many drug raids. It seems that drugs were widely available, swiftly followed by strip searches, pitch black rooms, kids being strapped in hospital beds overnight and lots of money having to be handed over. All scary stuff and yet she said it was her best holiday ever…..

Good grief.

What is the world coming to.

I am going to wrap my children in cotton wool and lock them in the house.

He and his mates, outside the shop:-

They got to decorate their own bars and make their own moulds:-

Then they designed their own wrappers:-

What a great idea for a party. Loved by all of them. Rococo very kindly gave me a discount as I had done the Valentine’s promotion with them but it is still an expensive party to take children to.

Personally, I would have liked them to have been told more about how chocolate is made during their time in the kitchen and also perhaps been given one of Chantal’s Coady’s lovely chocolate cook books – maybe it’s time for her to bring out a chocolate recipe book for kids??

I am not sure how it will affect my children and suspect that it will have more of an impact on Builder Bloke’s children. They are the ones who live with my ex husband and have had to cope with what has effectively been a very quick transition from 0 – 100 in 18 months. BB’s ex wife told BB yesterday that she felt their youngest child was playing up because he was spending too much time with my youngest son and that when he had the children he should spend time only with them and not with us – pretty extraordinary coming from the woman who instigated the doubling up of time our children spent together – anyway it took my youngest child three years to get used to the idea of BB being around (with many gaps in between) so as BB pointed out to her, I suspect it’s got more to do with getting used to their new, sudden family unit.

Will it be difficult for all the children to readjust? Or are they already old enough not to mind too much? There are many issues around stepfamilies – separation and divorce and how we all deal with it that will affect the health and happiness of children in general. Too many children find themselves caught in the middle and I’m not sure that parents assuming that what is good for them must be good for the children is always the correct approach. Especially when it comes to boys – they are jealous of their mother being with someone else it seems to me.

For me there are the obvious financial implications which I think it’s best to not worry about until the time comes. I saw in the paper yesterday a story about stepchildren who had taken their stepmother to court over their father’s estate. They lost. She got everything. Gulp.

ANYWAY, I don’t want to hugely depress myself. Would love to hear about your experiences of stepfamily aka blended family life.

We went to book her appointment yesterday – “I’m having my hair done for my dad’s wedding” she told them with me standing next to her and it was sort of fine when they looked at me in a puzzled way, but also sort of really really weird. Then she called her dad to tell him that it was going to cost £50 (!!!) and he said “fine, but ask your mother to pay”.

Expecting me to pay for my daughter’s hairstyle for my ex-husband’s wedding to Builder Bloke’s ex-wife just about says everything I need to know about where I stand in the equation.

Precisely nowhere.

Needless to say lovely daughter texted him to say “I don’t think it would be fair to ask mum, she might get upset”.

Thankfully, I’ve got the most perfect day on Saturday for MAJOR distraction purposes….I have to go out early so won’t get to see her looking beautiful for her father’s wedding which is probably for the best because it will kill me and then I’d cry and spoil it for the kids. Instead I’ll be at the CyberMummy Conference (I’m sure there is a perfectly good explanation but what are the CyberDaddy’s doing with their day?) where I will get to meet lots of my invisible friends in the flesh and learn what an RSS feed is (yes, I know that after three years I should get all that stuff). Even better for total distraction tactics is that I’ve been asked to speak which means I’ll be shitting myself for the entire day and not thinking about my daughter’s expensive hair style at all……

Just perfect.

She has written a review:-

“It was an amazing show. The fashion show itself told a story based on “Fashion Capitals of the World” starting with Tokyo, then New York, Italy, Paris and finally London each with the outfits themed around it.

Here are the new trends for the season:-

Playsuits (all in ones but with shorts)
Floral dresses
Bodycom (very tight/leotard style clothes)
Very girly, short dresses
Karky stuff (like Cheryl Cole military look)
Sparkly things (lots of glitter)
Floral headbands

For the older woman like my mum – maxi dresses”

Great. So I’m not allowed to wear girly, sparkly, flowery stuff. Just long to the ground dresses that cover everything up.

She gets to wear this:-
.

and this…

and I get to wear these:-

I’m not sure I can argue with that one. Why do they all have to watch so many video’s at the end of term?

Good grief. I’ve had lots of concerned friends all talking about the “what if’s” that just do not bear thinking about. My friends and I have all got so many children between us, please, please let them all get to adulthood in one piece. Strangely, the only person that hasn’t been able to empathise with me has been his father…..we were obviously both hugely relieved that he and all the other’s were safe, but beyond that there was no emotion or additional discussion between us. How sad is that? I had 1000% more sympathy from the tow-truck driver.

My son and his friend managed several days of sore necks and feeling “disorientated” to persuade the school nurse that they needed to go home and lie down immediately. That worked particularly well around the time of the England game….

I rang my X to discuss the insurance and during the call I said that in light of what had happened would he support my request not to let our son drive our other two children (or Builder Bloke’s children) ANYWHERE. Because I would be terrified at the thought of them in the car with him. He refused to agree, accusing me of double standards and when I hung up he sent me a text saying:-

“I don’t agree with or accept what you have said. I hope it is also absolutely clear to you that I will make my own decisions about our children when they are with me. This is about doing the right thing, about making good, right and fair decisions in everyones best interest. It is not about point scoring or getting your own way”.

All I wanted was a little understanding about how I was feeling post his crash. Not a f*cking lecture.

It’s just so disappointing to find that there appears to be no level upon which to find some common ground. Not even when our son was in a very scary situation. Just rubbish. It shouldn’t be like that.