Family Affairs

CLOTHES SHOW LONDON

My daughter attended the London Clothes Show yesterday and had an amazing time. Mainly because she met “The Wanted” a new boy band. All very cute.

She has written a review:-

“It was an amazing show. The fashion show itself told a story based on “Fashion Capitals of the World” starting with Tokyo, then New York, Italy, Paris and finally London each with the outfits themed around it.

Here are the new trends for the season:-

Playsuits (all in ones but with shorts)
Floral dresses
Bodycom (very tight/leotard style clothes)
Very girly, short dresses
Karky stuff (like Cheryl Cole military look)
Sparkly things (lots of glitter)
Floral headbands

For the older woman like my mum – maxi dresses”

Great. So I’m not allowed to wear girly, sparkly, flowery stuff. Just long to the ground dresses that cover everything up.

She gets to wear this:-
.

and this…

and I get to wear these:-

END OF TERM VIDEO’S

My teenage son says there is no point in going to school today because the only thing he is meant to be doing is watching a video about a woman with two heads in Biology whilst his teacher goes to Henley.
I’m not sure I can argue with that one. Why do they all have [...]

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POST CRASH STRESS DISORDER

My 17 year old son’s mangled car got picked up yesterday by the insurance company. The man who came to collect it made a lot of “Mercy Mother Of God” comments about how amazing it was that nobody had been seriously injured or died.

Good grief. I’ve had lots of concerned friends all talking about the “what if’s” that just do not bear thinking about. My friends and I have all got so many children between us, please, please let them all get to adulthood in one piece. Strangely, the only person that hasn’t been able to empathise with me has been his father…..we were obviously both hugely relieved that he and all the other’s were safe, but beyond that there was no emotion or additional discussion between us. How sad is that? I had 1000% more sympathy from the tow-truck driver.

My son and his friend managed several days of sore necks and feeling “disorientated” to persuade the school nurse that they needed to go home and lie down immediately. That worked particularly well around the time of the England game….

I rang my X to discuss the insurance and during the call I said that in light of what had happened would he support my request not to let our son drive our other two children (or Builder Bloke’s children) ANYWHERE. Because I would be terrified at the thought of them in the car with him. He refused to agree, accusing me of double standards and when I hung up he sent me a text saying:-

“I don’t agree with or accept what you have said. I hope it is also absolutely clear to you that I will make my own decisions about our children when they are with me. This is about doing the right thing, about making good, right and fair decisions in everyones best interest. It is not about point scoring or getting your own way”.

All I wanted was a little understanding about how I was feeling post his crash. Not a f*cking lecture.

It’s just so disappointing to find that there appears to be no level upon which to find some common ground. Not even when our son was in a very scary situation. Just rubbish. It shouldn’t be like that.

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REVIEW OF “GEORGE’S MARVELLOUS MEDICINE” AT THE RICHMOND THEATRE

I took my son and two of his friends to see Roald Dahl’s “George’s Marvellous Medicine” last night at The Richmond Theatre. “Are you going to see William’s Wonderful Medicine” asked my 17 year old – rubbish.
It was very lively – lots of audience participation. Fantastic for young kids. Lots [...]

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TEENAGERS INVOLVED IN CAR CRASH

About 2.15pm this afternoon I got the sort of call that every parent dreads. My teenage son had been involved in a crash on the motorway with three of his friends in the car. Thankfully they were all OK, but honestly, my heart literally stopped.

They were very, very lucky. They had all just put their seatbelts on and were only going about 40 miles an hour in the outside lane when the car in front slowed down suddenly. My son didn’t have enough time or space to stop before crashing into the back of him. The airbags and the seatbelts saved them. They got out in the fast lane but again thankfully a police van was driving past and got them to safety before anything else could happen.

Just a nightmare. Lets hope that a very sobering lesson has been learnt:-

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REDUNDANCY RULES

AAAGH stress. I am having an “I am completely redundant moment”. On lots of different levels. No youngest child to look after, a daughter who is going clothes shopping with her dad instead of me, a son who doesn’t want me involved in upcoming open days and an ex husband who is about to replace me with wife number two. And STILL no maintenance cheque forthcoming.

My daughter thankfully has her last exams today, I can’t cope with her behaving like she’s doing a PHD and my caveman son is just bellowing a lot. He’s so loud. His last exam is tomorrow and then all hell will break loose. He will go MAD and I won’t see him for dust. He appears to have planned a summer of the most extreme hedonistic proportions imaginable.

The house is eerily quiet without my youngest child – he’s back tomorrow. Can’t wait to see him. Dog breath and all.

My daughter is meeting her father after school today to go and buy her dress for the wedding. I can’t obviously get involved with that. My feelings are a bit all over the place regarding the whole thing. It all just feels strange. The kids aren’t talking to me about it much although there must be a lot of excitement beginning to build up. All the children are doing readings. I suppose for me there are still all those feelings to deal with and let go of, about the loss of a dream. My ex husband’s imminent second marriage takes me right back to our own wedding day which still seems like yesterday and then I struggle to believe that my “the one” is marrying someone else – in a full on big white church wedding like we had. It makes me feel a little, um, shit, for want of a better word.

Oh well.

EVEN more depressing this morning is that I appear to have done such a good job of being a hands-off parent I have virtually made myself completely redundant in my 17 year olds life (for a minute – till he wants money or food). He got his ear pierced again yesterday and is talking about another tattoo. All my friends seem to be taking their firstborns off to university open days at the moment. Planning weekends away to bond with their teenagers and plan their futures – together. My son told me yesterday that he was going to two of them with a friend and that “no, mum, it’s fine, course you don’t need to come with me”. BUT I WANT TO GO WITH HIM AND I WANT HIM TO HOLD MY HAND THE WHOLE WAY ROUND. I want to point at things and have a majorly bonding moment and I could advise him on what subject would be best and where he should live and laugh about vomiting in the student bar and try not to feel too old….

Maybe it’s better if he goes on his own. Like he’d be interested in my embarrassing antics at the student bar (although I didn’t really vomit in the student bar). Anyway, my parents certainly didn’t take me on any open days, although I was in Hong Kong at the time, so it wasn’t easy. I’m not sure what’s best though. My expat upbringing is coming through. What am I supposed to do? Let him go alone or insist I tag along too? His life though. Not mine.

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EXAM HELL

Just as I thought it was safe to start getting within two feet of my teenage son, who only has one AS level exam to go, my daughter has bloody started her mid-year exams and all hell has broken loose.

At least with my son he is relatively predictable whilst doing his exams. All I have to do is not speak to him, make sure I provide food that is not difficult to prepare – preferably that which he can eat without having to take it out of the fridge and water him from time to time. He gets on with it on his own, aside from the occasional roar of indignation and “oh f*ck it, what’s the point” rant. As long as I don’t suggest that maybe he should think about going to bed instead of watching “Big Brother” or “Friends” or that he might like to get up because it’s midday, all is well.

However, my daughter is a different matter entirely. I get a constant “WHY CAN’T YOU HELP ME, YOU DON’T DO ANYTHING, I’M GOING TO FAIL AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT” torrent of abuse on a regular basis. Admittedly, I am not good at helping with revision. I do not believe that is part of my job spec. If you can’t do it, talk to the teacher. At least my son recognised when he was 7 that I was clueless about his maths homework and that there was absolutely NO point in getting me to help him.

But, last night as she stressed out about all the work she had to do she dealt me a major body blow. In the midst of her rant she said, “well SHE’S HELPING ME”…..”SHE” being my ex’s fiance and soon to be wife.

First it made me want to cry. Then it made me want to shout very loudly about the unfairness of my life. Then it made me want to climb into bed next to her with a hot chocolate and work, work, work whilst plaiting her hair and stroking her arm.

How low can you go in the art of trying to get a parent to take some interest?

I shall not rise to the bait.

I shall not rise to the bait.

I shall not rise to the bait.

Anybody know what makes up an atom? Neutron? Proton? electron? All of the above? AND WHAT IS AN ISOTOPE?

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