Family Affairs and other matters

MOTHERS AGAINST GAP YEAR – MAGY’s

I’m in the process of setting up a new campaign and already have several new recruits – MAGY’S = “Mothers Against Gap Year’s”. It’s all too much – we are not coping well.

My soon-to-be-travelling-to-the-end-of-the-world son is sitting behind me filling in a Visa application to Cambodia (and farting). He is off to various embassies today and to get his Japanese Encephalitis jab (I still don’t know what that is but it better be worth it because it’s costing me somewhere in the region of £78 and that’s on top of £150 for a rabies jab…).

I’ve been relatively calm up until now, because of course it’s a good thing that he’s off to spread his wings a little. Flee the nest for a minute. I know SEA really well – I couldn’t love it more. I have never felt safer. However putting myself into the mind and body of a 19 year old boy with 6 mates is an entirely different matter. Their brains function differently. They’re not sensible. Now that I’m getting a little more involved in the detail I’ve noticed my stress levels rising. My friends aren’t helping – mothers of two other boys who are going with him – they are not only far more hands on than me but are beginning to freaking me out about things like losing visas and border controls.

Here is an email my friend sent me yesterday:-

“After being very laid back about their forthcoming trip – am now feeling completely sick about the whole thing!! Was online last night checking he’d got the right info re visas etc and went on a few sites about safety, crime rates, healthcare, emergency services or lack of them!! Also read a few students real life experiences and freaked myself out. Anyway obviously haven’t slept a wink and now becoming completely paranoid so Catholic priest booked in for major blessing plus have asked a girl who has recently come back from travelling to meet up with them to chat about her experiences of travelling through Asia. She’s back from uni for a few days so thought it might be a good idea to get the boys together with her for a drink. I know my son won’t be impressed that I’m now interfering but his whole approach so far seems very naive and vague. Nowhere in Asia seems particularly great for blonde English teenage youths but Cambodia – well certain parts – sounds really scary.

Sorry don’t want to make you nervous and I’m sure they’ll be fine but I think the reality of them being away for a long period of time in strange lands is just hitting home!”

My response:-

FFS – the bloody rubber ring thing in Laos!! Shall we just follow them in disguise? I think I can get my mother to come for 4 months. Should be fine. Would be good to get together. Maybe we could also find somebody who looks awful who spent some time in a Thai prison to come to the pub for a drink too? Just to put them off? Know anyone?

Hers:-

Yes any deterrent is a good idea – this weekend I’m planning to run continuous showings of Apocalypse Now, The Deerhunter and The King of Siam – that should be enough to put anyone off!! Be good to meet up soon.

Mine:-

“Don’t forget “Midnight Express” – that’s the best one!! Must order it on Amazon now.

Anyway. You see how easy it is to whip yourself up into a frenzy of total panic. At this rate I’ll be at the airport refusing to let go of his leg and shouting at all the security men to stop him.

I wonder if this is because he’s my firstborn and it’s all new. Another phase in his life that I want to be involved in, take an interest in. Like all the 85,000 photos I took of him when he was born, started crawling, walking, swimming, going to school – as if he was the first child to ever do all that stuff. Isn’t it incredible how much information you can absorb at each stage – I was so knowledgeable on breast Vs bottle feeding and prams and primary schools and contagious water born diseases you can catch in swimming pools. I’ve got notes on his growth, his first words, I’ve even got a little box of his teeth. Surprised I haven’t got test tubes full of poo samples to be honest.

I wonder how much that level of focus from a parent affects the child long term and whether it’s therefore a good or bad thing that my third child is going to have an entirely different experience. He is at the opposite end of the spectrum and is convinced that there isn’t one photo of him growing up and to be honest, although I try to convince him otherwise, I haven’t found it yet. I have no memory of his first words, no photo album of his first year, no little umbilical cord clips (yuk) and no box of teeny weeny teeth. In fact, I am ashamed to admit that once, when I managed to lose his tooth before it went under his pillow for the tooth fairy I “borrowed” one from my little box that belonged to his older brother – but it was a little brittle and the wrong colour and he wasn’t really convinced.

Does this mean I’ll be far more chilled when it comes to his travels? Maybe I won’t even notice he’s gone….Unlikely. He’s my last child. He gets just the same amount of love from me, but in a different way. Must ask him about it all though and maybe try harder in future – wonder if he will want me to come with him to the hairdressers and save some locks of hair and other such stuff….

UNDER SIEGE

I am feeling a little bit under siege in my own house. Perhaps it’s because it’s the end of January and i haven’t successfully managed to start any of my New Year’s Resolutions yet and things feel a little, well, shall we just say, chaotic. I don’t feel organised for the year ahead. Haven’t got [...]

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SINGING WELLS PROJECT

Take a look at this incredibly uplifting video of my friend’s recent visit to record the music of the Batwa tribe – the people who have been evicted from the forests in Uganda/Rwanda so that the mountain gorillas could be protected.

Just such a joyful sound and look at them all – singing their hearts out and the little kids clapping along and the wise old sage in orange – probably not very PC to say that he reminded me hugely of the old wise character in The Lion King (who may not have been human!).

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TUNE HOTEL LIVERPOOL STREET REVIEW

How delighted was my teenage son and his girlfriend to get an offer via my blog of a room for the night at the newly opened Tune Hotel in Liverpool Street to review as a new venue for Gap Year students and travellers. Off they went last night to check it out. They had a [...]

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NEW BRITISH MUM APPOINTED BY DISNEY WORLD

Walt Disney World Resort in Florida have appointed a new British mum as a holiday guru where she will become part of the Walt Disney World Moms Panel – www.DisneyWorldMoms.com.. So a big congratulations to Sue Farrell, a mum of one from Little Sutton in Cheshire, who was selected from thousands of applicants to join the popular online forum for families planning a holiday to the Florida resort.

Sue, who visits Walt Disney World in Florida as often as she can with her family, beat thousands of other applicants for a coveted spot on the Moms Panel and had to get through three rounds of interviews to secure her place among 15 new panellists from across the United States and Canada, who will share advice and tips on how to plan the perfect trip to a Disney resort. Sue will also be joined by fellow UK mum, Emma Nicholson from Lancashire who will be retaining her place as a UK panellist in 2012.

Entering its fifth year, the Walt Disney World Moms Panel is an online forum where guests can get tips and insights for a Disney holiday from real mums, dads, grandparents and guardians who have mastered the art of planning Disney holidays. Guests can pose questions to the panelists, as well as gain access to other holiday-planning tools for booking a holiday. Featuring just 12 members during its inaugural year in 2008, the panel now boasts 42 park-savvy panellists as a result of the popularity of the site and an ever-growing number of questions submitted by curious guests.

Sue said, “I’m thrilled to be joining the Moms Panel to represent British mums and answer any questions UK families may have about planning a holiday to Walt Disney World in Florida. Having done it myself, I know how daunting organizing a holiday can be! From which is the best value resort to getting everyone from the airport, I’ll be on hand to share my knowledge and guide UK families through the planning process to ensure they have the best holiday possible” .

Ginger Taggart, Executive Marketing Director at Disney Destinations International said, “The Walt Disney World Moms Panel is an engaging and very popular planning tool where parents can share real and personal insights with each other. We’re excited to have a new British mum representing UK families and offering advice to ensure they make the best of their holidays to Walt Disney World and create special memories they will cherish for a lifetime”.

Families planning a Walt Disney World holiday can log on to the Walt Disney World Moms Panel site at www.disneyworldmoms.com to receive valuable tips, advice and planning secrets from the 2012 panelists.

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GAP YEAR -”DON’T WORRY MUM, IT’LL BE FINE….”

Trying to get a teenage boy to commit to a plan is not only deeply frustrating it is virtually impossible. It’s like playing the blink game in which you challenge your opponent to blink before you do – mostly it’s impossible to play with a teenager because they’re asleep or too chilled to even tell whether anything is going on behind those eyes and even if they are focused on you for a minute they’re too distracted to ever lose. I don’t think they don’t do it on purpose though – they live their own personal lives like that – all last minute meet ups and change of venues – even birthday plans between mates seem to materialise about an hour before the event. That’s how a lot of them function I guess – or at least I hope it’s not just my son who behaves like that.

I don’t know why I am remotely surprised then that his plans to travel round half the world next month are not exactly coming together. I mean I’m certainly not going to get an itinerary, let alone an address. At least he’s busy earning the money to support his adventure – working in a pub and coaching football at his old school which is great, but I don’t see any signs of digging wells or teaching English or even shearing sheep looking very likely at this late stage. Just a lot of him randomly mentioning another country – “maybe we’ll go to Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia and then back to Malaysia but I’m meeting some mates in Chiang Mai and then we’ll….” honestly it’s like they’re getting on a bus to go to central London – how will they meet their mates? Where will they stay? The main default setting for the group appears to be about making sure they are in the right place at the right time for The “Full Moon Party” in Thailand (and I suspect that it’s title is more to do with exposing ones buttocks to everyone rather than the natural satellite of the earth).

He’s meant to be off to Australia next month and there are a few friends of mine that I’m sure he can stay with (for a few nights) but I can’t get him to email anybody in advance to find out what dates would be appropriate to visit or indeed if they are even going to be in the country. My suggestion that it would be a teeny bit rude to just appear on the other side of the world is falling on deaf ears. “Don’t worry mum, it’ll be fine….” is not very reassuring – last time I heard that he ended up in a Polish prison. I guess, (as it was with the two Aussie teenagers that recently stayed with me) it will be ultimately down to the parents to do the organising.

Anyway, he’s got retakes coming up very soon now so it’s better if he’s not too focused on the next far more exciting stage of his year. I note that instead of past papers and revision timetables being looked at on Google there are the beginnings of some mobilisation to the cause. The thing is that secretly these teenagers are clever and know that if they leave it long enough somebody else might do the work for them. They are entirely capable in every way when they want to be. Here are the first stirrings of his Gap Year planning taken from my Google history:-

Claiming back your tax when on a gap year
Applying for an Australia visa from the UK (god, watch out Aussie friends – leave the country before it’s too late)
STA travel
Cheap flights from Australia to Asia
Convert Australian dollars to GB
Quantas airlines
Cheap beers in Asia (I made that one up but I’m surprised it’s not there).

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TOP TIPS FOR PLANNING YOUR DISNEY HOLIDAY

If you are thinking about a Disney holiday then there is some information on a the following link: http://mydisneyworldplanner.co.uk/ There you will find some videos to help you plan your trip to Disney World, Where to Stay, Disney Dining Plan, What to do and Disney Cruise Line. There are lots of top tips for planning [...]

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