Just as I thought it was safe to start getting within two feet of my teenage son, who only has one AS level exam to go, my daughter has bloody started her mid-year exams and all hell has broken loose.
At least with my son he is relatively predictable whilst doing his exams. All I have to do is not speak to him, make sure I provide food that is not difficult to prepare – preferably that which he can eat without having to take it out of the fridge and water him from time to time. He gets on with it on his own, aside from the occasional roar of indignation and “oh f*ck it, what’s the point” rant. As long as I don’t suggest that maybe he should think about going to bed instead of watching “Big Brother” or “Friends” or that he might like to get up because it’s midday, all is well.
However, my daughter is a different matter entirely. I get a constant “WHY CAN’T YOU HELP ME, YOU DON’T DO ANYTHING, I’M GOING TO FAIL AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT” torrent of abuse on a regular basis. Admittedly, I am not good at helping with revision. I do not believe that is part of my job spec. If you can’t do it, talk to the teacher. At least my son recognised when he was 7 that I was clueless about his maths homework and that there was absolutely NO point in getting me to help him.
But, last night as she stressed out about all the work she had to do she dealt me a major body blow. In the midst of her rant she said, “well SHE’S HELPING ME”…..”SHE” being my ex’s fiance and soon to be wife.
First it made me want to cry. Then it made me want to shout very loudly about the unfairness of my life. Then it made me want to climb into bed next to her with a hot chocolate and work, work, work whilst plaiting her hair and stroking her arm.
How low can you go in the art of trying to get a parent to take some interest?
I shall not rise to the bait.
I shall not rise to the bait.
I shall not rise to the bait.
Anybody know what makes up an atom? Neutron? Proton? electron? All of the above? AND WHAT IS AN ISOTOPE?
June 15th, 2010 at 1:13 pm
If she knows how to press your buttons, she can certainly press the google buttons. You can’t write the papers for her – but neither can SubMum. FWIW I think you’re on the right track with I’m hopeless and I love you.
June 15th, 2010 at 2:38 pm
Isn’t an “isotope” the international standard for wigs?
June 15th, 2010 at 4:56 pm
God bless google, I’d have been a feckin genius if it’d been around when I was at school. Keep calm, drink gin. I have 1 more GCSE from the son and last ever A2 from the daughter both Friday.
June 16th, 2010 at 12:06 am
low blows…expect it love…my daughter said to me after l asked her when l was going to meet her new boyfriend, (whom my hub has met and he lets them ‘sleep’ together without mentioning to me) she said’ nah, l dont live with you, so its not relevant!
l to did not take the bait..
saz x breathe girl breathe
June 16th, 2010 at 3:27 am
Hi
I’ve been one of your readers for ages but I’ve been off-line. But the filters at work have changed and now I can get back into all that “social” stuff. Cool!
And trust me for it to be when you’re in my neck of the woods! Although Townsville, Nth Qld is a bit further north than Sydney, it would have been lovely to drag you up here to have a snorkle on the reef, eat crabs etc. Maybe next time.
Glad to hear you & Builder bloke are back together. I never thought it seemed fair for you and he to miss out on your relationship because of other’s decisions. Live & let live & all that.
My daughter’s 16 and doing her half yearly grade 11 exams. I’ve got no idea what’s going on, I just assume it’s all OK. It seems to have worked out so far. I really am a lazy mum, but it seems to work OK. It’s that laid back aussie thing, I’ve got it down to a fine art. I just need to bottle you some salt air, a bit of sunshine & some surfer sweat to place around yourself while lazing in a hammock with a good book an ice bucket full of alcohol within easy reach and sunnies to hide your eyes behind when you’re “contemplating”.
June 16th, 2010 at 7:43 am
Welcome back! I wondered where you had gone….
Thats the answer then – I need to move back to Oz. Lx
June 16th, 2010 at 11:49 am
On the two main topics here I seem to have got off quite lightly. The eldest girl’s A2′s are finished and passed in relative calm, she was secure in the knowledge that she is light years above my science ceiling and rapidly drawing away from her mother, a Human Ecology Graduate! The “Other Woman” in our extended family is regarded with intellectual contempt which is a bit damning, she is a teacher! All she demanded was a bit of peace and quiet to work followed by some space to relax. At fourteen, the youngest is starting GCSE Maths Modules on Monday, we will see how that goes. So far so good….
As a “Step Father” I can look at it from the other side too. I help where I can but try and restrict it to a “by invitation only” basis, though that is to suit the children’s temperament rather than anything else. One of the worst things I have had to deal with is the thankfully rare but near fatal thrust of the “You can’t tell me off/to do that, your not my daddy” knife. I promise you it goes straight to the heart…….
June 16th, 2010 at 1:23 pm
I bet it does…..I know BB’s kids have already said that to my ex. It must be v hard. Think best thing is not to try and be their parent but that’s easy for me to say when I don’t live with somebody else’s kids Lx