My brother and I have been staying with our mother this weekend and visiting our father who is back in hospital. He is fighting an infection and has been seriously unwell. My mother said to me “I can’t believe he’s so demanding…he’s never been this demanding before in his life” and I was thinking “haven’t you noticed that he has just had MAJOR surgery for bowel cancer, has had several blood transfusions, has been home for several days feeling unbelievably nauseous before falling over and being taken back into hospital and put on intravenous antibiotics, hasn’t been able to eat a thing for three weeks and can barely move?”. Good grief, if you can’t be demanding under those circumstances when can you be.
Hopefully he’s slowly improving. He said yesterday that he didn’t “feel like death” so fingers crossed he’s getting better. His hospital ward is marginally better than the last one although owing to a lack of jelly beans I was still tempted to stuff his pink fluffy, waxy earplugs up my nose to cut out the smells. All the other inmates still look dead – all lying back asleep with their mouths wide open – my brother said “you don’t need to worry about the ‘O’ face, it’s the ‘Q’ face that’s bad” – that’s when the tongue is lolling out to the side. Yuk. My father had asked me to bring in some Bassetts Licorice Allsorts – which I think is a pretty good sign.
Talking of signs, although I’m not a person who chooses to follow a specific religion, I like to think of myself as vaguely spiritual and quite often find signs pertaining to my life. Sometimes I even ask for them. I am not quite sure who puts them there, or who I am asking, but they seem to say something important anyway. For example, I have probably mentioned this before, but on the day that our “Decree Nisi” came through I was having dinner in a restaurant with my ex husband. We were still attempting to find a way through the mess of our broken marriage. My mother had recently pointed out that not only were we flogging a dead horse, the dead horse had maggots in it”, but still we wouldn’t give up. My ex had just finished his main course and his white plate was completely empty when suddenly sitting right in the middle of the plate was a huge black caterpillar/maggotty thing. I mean huge. We had no idea how it got there and at one point my ex even accused me of bringing it in a bag and secretly flicking it at him when he wasn’t looking.
There have been lots of other signs too over the years including several plagues….
I was dreading coming back into the house today. I was not sure whether I would find yet more revolting flies. But instead, on my doorstep was this:-
…and not a fly in sight.
September 20th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
You sound really down, mate. My mum was sick for a long time and my relationship was falling apart at the same time. so I kind of empathise with you.
Maybe one way to look at it is that you've got some free time to spend with your dad & mum while the ex has the kids. I stuggled with my girl when mum was sick, I just needed time to myself to be sad/fall apart. Just for a minute or two.
I think your sign is lovely. Feathers are a feelgood thing, they're pretty and soft. They give me warm, mushy feelings inside, like seashells and beautiful sunsets.
September 21st, 2009 at 12:00 am
oh yes. i believe in signs. angels all 'round. i am always looking for them. i gave up on trying to find the neon giant cowboy hand pointing me in the right direction though. they are far more subtle. and am concluding that being number 63 on divorce blog list is an achievement so congrats all round you lovely lady! sending love as always and really hope your dad starts to regain his strength. xxx j
September 21st, 2009 at 2:11 am
Lovely sign. Hope all goes well with your Dad. Big love x
September 21st, 2009 at 2:47 am
We all look for signs don't we? I know I do. White feathers are a classic sign that Something is looking out for you.
Think of it as the universe trying to give you a hug.
xx
September 21st, 2009 at 5:28 am
Maggot on plate story has made my day (esp. the bit about your Ex accusing you of putting it there!?)
Signs: I too am a believer. Missing my Mum most terribly about five months after her death, looking out across my back garden, a thrush (I think? but could have been anything, really – just not a budgie) hopped across the lawn and then up onto the windowsill RIGHT NEXT TO ME and stared at me for ages through the glass with it's blinky black little eyes.
Hope things continue to improve. X
September 21st, 2009 at 5:37 am
Oh wow! How lovely… Sending positive African thoughts for your Dad's quick recovery x
September 21st, 2009 at 6:50 am
Sorry to hear that your dad is in hospital again, but happy to see that white feather on your threshold!