One of my bestest friends in the world is moving to Australia with her family next week. Tonight is their leaving party. I can’t really imagine life without her and yet I have fully encouraged her to make the move. It’s got to be done. It’s a fantastic opportunity for all of them and what’s the worst that could happen? They hate it and come back. Far better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all…and all that bollocks.
And yet…I am feeling very, very sad about it. She and I started walking around our local park together every Monday, joined a year or so later by another two very good friends and this has become our own private, very necessary institution. We have been walking religiously now for 5 years. I don’t honestly think I could have got through my divorce without her – I must have had about 800 hours of the best counselling one could ever hope for. Laughter, tears, advice, support, you name it, I’ve had it.
She has set up a blog that she’s going to write from Down Under – a “glob”? Her second entry was about her friends and our walk:-
“We have walked round the park every Monday for the last 5 years , which is about 260 times …covering about 18,200 miles roughly speaking. But emotionally we have covered much, much more. Divorce, affairs, pregnancy , babies, fall outs, difficult teenagers, jobs, boyfriends, no boyfriends, husbands and lots of tears. A true mark of a friend is when something happens to you and it hasn’t happened properly until you have told it to those friends. That is how I feel about my Monday morning walkers , we cover everything and each concern is discussed, diluted by telling them and each joke funnier by sharing it with them. Everybody has this, but until you leave you can’t evaluate how precious people are to you”.
She will leave a large gap in my life. My other two friends and I will carry on without her, but it won’t be the same.
Still. It is not forever. It’s for three years. So that is another 16,400 miles we have to walk, another 120 coffees we have to drink, another few hundred tears we have to shed and another 1000 laughs we have to have before she comes back. We’ll save her place though- she could never be replaced.
Our friendship has been one of my life’s greatest privileges. I can’t bear to let her go.
January 10th, 2009 at 8:33 am
This is such a lovely post…you have made me cry bucket loads and I still have to get through tonight! We will carry on without her but it won’t be the same and like you I just feel so lucky to have had her love and support over the last few years. xxx
January 10th, 2009 at 8:39 am
What a beautiful blog about the value of Girls and their friendship and their support of each other. What would we do without them?
PS Am concerned by your friend’s mileages though, as it implies that you walk 70 miles each Monday!! You must be very fit!
January 10th, 2009 at 9:34 am
Shit, anon – you’re right – I’ve looked at the figures and it’s more like 1000 miles that we’ve walked so far – which is PATHETIC! I think I’ll leave it though and see who else notices – 18,000 miles sounds so much more impressive. Lx
January 10th, 2009 at 10:08 am
Is that a black lab in the middle of the photo? (Black labs should always take centre stage..)
January 10th, 2009 at 11:15 am
How wonderful to have such friends. It’s always sad when friends leave but true friends are for life. I’ve been in Paris 16 years (crikey, haven’t I done enough time here, can’t I go home?) and I know who my real pals are.
Keep on walking!
Word veri: footblisters
January 10th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
what a lovely tribute to your friend… she will never be far away, and off course with blogging and email and texting, you’ll be in touch far more than you think.
I wrote about this subject in My cup runneth over…
everything changes, but the essence of sisterhood remains..
http://fatfrumpyandfifty.blogspot.com/2008/09/my-cup-runneth-over.htmlhttp://fatfrumpyandfifty.blogspot.com/2008/09/my-cup-runneth-over.html
January 10th, 2009 at 11:29 pm
ah HATE those goodbyes to good friends. devastating. “those boots are made for walking, and thats what we’re gonna do, one of these days these boots are gonna walk right over you. remember? nancy sinatra? lots love lulu..and keep on walking (and talking!) xxx j
January 11th, 2009 at 6:44 am
Huge loss FA, beautifully written MH
January 11th, 2009 at 9:16 am
The blogs will help. My friend moved to Oz three years ago and we keep up with each other’s news via our blogs much more than by e-mail.
January 11th, 2009 at 10:58 am
FA that is a fabulous post that made me blub. Thank goodness for the internet, email and good phone lines eh? Not the same though..
BM x
January 12th, 2009 at 9:21 am
No Frankofile, it’s a spaniel actually x
Thx Dumdad – but yes, think it’s time for you to come home!!
Thx FFF – yes friendships are so very special – you’re right though, blogging should help keep us feeling we’re not too far away Lx
Thanks Janelle, I’m going to get my walking boots on and walk right over to Australia. Lx
January 12th, 2009 at 9:22 am
Merci Beaucoups MH!!
Thanks WM – I really do think the blogs will help – lets hope so Lx
Thank you BM and sorry, didn’t mean to make you blub!! Lx
January 14th, 2009 at 6:43 am
Ah Lulu I know your pain.
My best friend moved to Australia with her other half last September and not a day goes by that I don’t miss her.
We used to talk EVERY day via IM – generally stupid stuff like ‘I’m bored – what are you having for lunch?’ but communication nontheless.
It’s been so difficult since she started her new job as well – she’s eating her dinner and heading to bed at the same time as I’m starting my working day.
We arrange to ‘meet’ each other on Skype once a week – I highly recommend it!
LBB x