I said I”M BACK NOW!!!! Typical. Now you’ve all gone away.

DAY 2 of holiday diary:

The weather is glorious and there doesn’t appear to be anything at all in the sea that is either going to eat you or even bite you. No jellyfish even. Just a few sea urchins near the rocks. The pool is right near where we eat and the beach is just a teeny weeny bit further so I barely have to go anywhere. 15 y/o daughter has decided to join the “Indy” club – she’s been told it’s the best way to make friends and influence people…..11 y/o has refused point blank to be part of a kids club and is therefore lying about being unbelievably bored and really annoying me – I don’t want to have to play tennis in 35 degree heat or leap about in the pool or play cards or go and eat things, I want to read my book. He doesn’t want to read his book. This is not a good start. There are also loads of activities for me to do but I don’t want to do any of those either – sailing, windsurfing, waterskiing, aerobics, diving, bla, bla – WAY too energetic for what I’m looking for in a holiday.

The bikini my daughter persuaded me to buy was a big mistake for several reasons:-

a) I shouldn’t have listened to her – she clearly knew I’d look stupid in it and would have to give it to her.

b) I am too old for bikini’s

c) It is the latest in push up bikinis from La Senza – gives you the most spectacular cleavage. But when I’m in the water I’m ridiculously buoyant – sort of float tits up, legs down – like being in the red (or dead?) sea. Then even worse when I get out of the water the pool virtually comes with me. I have about a ton of water to slowly squeeze from my top without anybody panicking about a tsunami. Daughter had to show me how to do it surreptitiously with elbows so that the towel didn’t have to get drenched within seconds.

Also made a mistake by booking a promotional treatment in the spa the day we arrived. My friend had told me to try the Kopi candle ear treatment ages ago, but I’d failed to find it anywhere in my area. She said it might sort out my ear imbalance – so YAY I thought when they had it on offer – the perfect chance to try it out. It’s all a little strange. Basically you lie on your back with your head to the side with a large candle sticking out of your ear which they then light. You hear a strange little crackling sound as it burns down but not much else. After about 20 minutes they swap sides. Nothing mind blowing happened. Nothing came out of my ears, no small creatures or anything. All rather disappointing. I should have had a massage. THEN she says “don’t go swimming for 24 hours” which was a major blow given I was about to go snorkeling in the sea with the kids. It was reminiscent of the unbelievably painful exfoliation massage I chose when in Thailand on the last day of my holiday that sloughed off not only all my tan but most of my skin.

I have also burnt my arse today.

Haven’t spoken to anyone yet. There are a few single parents floating about but not many. So far I am very happy just being with all the kids and having lots of spare time to think and read. Such a luxury.

I am reading “How To Be A Woman” by Caitlin Moran which I’m loving. My son is lying next to me reading “The Godfather”. Couldn’t be more different.

50
  1. Just picturing the torrents of water draining from your bikini top! Too funny.

  2. So glad you’re back!

    Your holiday sounds like it hit the right note. You need a break from life every now and then otherwise it’s all just too overwhelming. I just had a month’s break from work and now I’ve got to jump back on the bike and start again, but the time off makes it so much easier.

    My daughter’s nearly 18 and I have the same power struggles over beds etc as well. I turn into my mother and do the “when you’re paying the bills and taking on all the stress etc etc”. I hate it but I just can’t seem to help myself! Then again, she was an excellent mum, so I suppose I should just go with it? If I’ve been half the mum she was, I’ll be happy.

  3. FAB you are back! Holiday sounds lovely. I too am home alone! It is children’s first holiday with Dad and his girlfriend, so quite a historic first. So far I have entertained my newly single friend for the weekend while her children are away with their dad for the first time. I have been indulging in lots of retail therapy, made a feeble attempt at decorating the bathroom, had lovely walk with BF and her dog, had 4 invitations to go out to dinner tomorrow night, but most significantly of all joined a dating website! whoah!

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