Family Affairs

Obviously, in life we blame our parents for everything. My parents are still very happy together after 44 years of marriage and yet I can still find a way of blaming them for my marriage breakdown….they made it look too easy. They made it look like you could enjoy yourself without putting in too much effort and more than anything else they made it look easy to enjoy nurturing and caring for somebody else.

My father was in town this week. He had his notorious “boys lunch”. The one that usually results in an injury. Last time he broke his shoulder and he is going to have to have it operated on some time soon. Thankfully this time it was agreed that he stay the night with one of his mates and they made sure he got home safely. Just as an example of how they work so well together he had found a painting in a gallery that he really liked. “I can’t buy it until I’ve shown it to your mother, so they’ve lent it to me for a couple of weeks”. I had a conversation with him later in the day and he was delighted because my mother loved it and he’d put it up already, above his desk.

Later, I spoke to my mother “your father has bought this hideous picture, but don’t tell him I said that, he loves it and that’s all that matters”.

How lovely is that? No wonder my marriage didn’t work. Firstly, my husband would definitely have bought it without consulting me and secondly I would definitely have told him I hated it and that he couldn’t put it up (except maybe in the downstairs loo). It’s all about caring about each other’s feelings.