Family Affairs

I am pleased to report that we are all still alive. Just busy, having too much fun and only remote internet access available. Somehow, I have managed to exaggerate the number of kids we are responsible for – we have 7 with us. Not 10! I was obviously going for the full sympathy vote. But still. Quite a handful and what’s more Builder Bloke has this extraordinary ability to attract children – perhaps I should change his name to PP instead. He’s like a teen magnet. One minute I’m quietly sitting somewhere contemplating my navel, then he arrives and then one by one from nowhere all the kids begin to arrive (and others I don’t know) and they all just sit down next to him. THEY DON’T EVEN ASK FOR MONEY OR A DRINK OR ANYTHING. They just sit and chat and he just loves it and I try not to harbour “can you all just f*ck off over there for a minute so that I can read a book in peace because much as I love you all, I really want to read my book ON MY OWN”.

It is important we have managed to get away by ourselves (by ourselves??) for a minute – it is reminiscent of the big Brady Bunch Florida trip we went on two years ago, just before the bomb shell. It’s beautiful. In the evening there are many stars and the moon has been HUGE and full and I have decided that there is not much in life that is more beautiful than sparkly, twinkly moon and stars reflecting on water.

My X has called the kids from St Lucia. They are obviously having a lovely time. Strange though, if I was away somewhere gorgeous without my kids I’d play it down to them – say it was OK, but raining a little every day and there was a poo in the pool – or something to make them feel a bit better about not being invited – but he did a whole “we’re having the best time ever, going off for a Hawaiian dance lesson, been jet skiing, played tennis, doing yoga and Pilates on the beach, dancing and drinking and it’s all just amazing….”But my kids wanted to tell him what THEY’D been doing and my youngest son got off the phone all dejected and I could hear my daughter in the background saying “you should get mum to teach you Pilates” – just imagine if I was the instructor on the beach in St Lucia just for a minute…..

ANYWAY. We are doing a regroup thing – as one big fat happy team (not literally you understand – although quite literally in some cases). The two eighteen year old boys come out for dinner with us and then disappear out with their mates. They come in at some horrible hour of the morning, making a total mess of the kitchen as they eat strange things and then they sleep until lunchtime. Then they come out to eat with us, go out with their mates for the afternoon and then meet us for dinner somewhere, mumbling about how tired they are but what a great time they had the night before and so the pattern continues. But we’re lucky to have them at all at the age they are. As long as you recognise that if you offer to pay for meals out and not mind that they sleep for most of the day then they might just keep coming back.

We’re all going on a fishing trip today. For mackerel apparently. I shall attempt to sit at the back of the boat trying not to be sick and being ignored when I mumble about why they should throw the fish back in and ask them how they know that fish don’t feel the pain. I shall attempt to read my book – which happens to be “Salmon Fishing In The Yemen”! (It’s v good – v dry humour and a great story) but I will look like an arse. Nevermind. Nothing new.