Family Affairs and other matters

Things are all feeling a bit wrong.  That is pretty normal in my world these days, what with my father still in and out of hospital and major issues with my ex husband to deal with and three children on my own and being single again and just finding out that I can’t go and see my friend abroad for February half term when I don’t have the children because my mother is having her operation, but still….I can normally cope with it all.  I am trying to be grown up and not let everything get to me.  Especially the being single bit, which seems to be a constant source of amusement to my friends.  Over the last few weeks I have had the following suggestions from friends as to how to stop being single:-

1. Internet dating

2. Go on Facebook and find an old boyfriend and then stalk him relentlessly

3. Become a lesbian

4. Auction myself off at a charity event

5. Start reading the obituary columns

Ha ha ha.  NOT FUNNY.

Or maybe the reason that I am feeling particularly discombobulated is because of something my youngest son said this morning when he came back from training with his dad at some hideous hour of the morning (we’re going to try it one day a week which seems like a reasonable compromise all round).

“Dad’s been looking at new houses to move into with his girlfriend and her children”.

There have been rumours circulating about him selling up and moving in with his girlfriend for some time.   He originally told the kids that he was considering moving in to her house and building a shed at the bottom of the garden for the kids to stay in – “but I don’t want to sleep in a shed at the bottom of his girlfriend’s garden” said my youngest…..

I can’t blame my ex husband for wanting to rebuild his life with someone else.  Obviously.  I just wish it wasn’t her.   I am quite sure that my ex is happy with the scenario and doesn’t want me or anybody else to warn him that Builder Bloke has said from the beginning that her main aim in life is to move into a bigger house as soon as possible and that he may be rushing into things (they’ve been together 10 months) – he is completely besotted and he’s found a whole new life to move in to and he will be very keen to move into a family life having had to live on his own for so long and I understand that…loneliness is a terrible thing.

It’s just not great for any of the kids involved though to be honest.  They are the ones I’m worried about.  My youngest one will be very jealous that his dad is living with Builder Bloke’s kids.  My daughter will be jealous that he’s living with another woman.  Her children won’t really want another man living with their mum either.  But again, there’s nothing I can do about any of it.

At the moment my ex lives very close to me and that suits our children very well.  If he moves it will be about a 45 minute drive away and I wonder how it will work when he wants the children to come and stay and they don’t have their friends around to see and can’t get to places they want to go.  I wonder when they should be allowed to make the decision for themselves as to where they want to be.  I am clearly not going to be consulted in the decision making process but I foresee that it will have a huge effect on our “every other weekend” scenario.

Almost the worst thing about it is that I can’t even begin to imagine how Builder Bloke is going to feel about having my ex husband live with his children.

If it wasn’t so bloody difficult to get in I’d move to Australia at this point.  I had a text from some friends who sold up here years ago and built a house in Oz, bought a business, set up a new life and planned to stay forever.   They are now losing the battle for residency.   They have lost all their appeals and have to go to the minister as a last resort in the next few weeks. In the meantime they can’t leave the country.  If they have to come back here they will have to start all over again.  It seems a little harsh.  Do you think Australia has a shortage of single mothers with three children who can blog and do pilates?  No.  Me neither.