It occurred to me at a party I was at the other day that I am looking a lot older than some of the other women my age. I was standing with a group of women who are all into botox and fillers and eye lifts and I looked at least 10 years older if not more. These women looked gorgeous, fresh faced, open eyed and youthful. But. Is it right? Of course I strongly believe in each to their own but it’s putting lots of pressure on all the rest of us to hang on to our youthful looks. I certainly considered rushing down to the nearest clinic to have a quick face lift in order to look as gorgeous as they did. Which way is it going to go I wonder? Are we all going to fight against the inevitable or are we going to somehow find the strength of character to believe that wrinkles and saggy bits are perfectly acceptable. Am I confident enough to find the inner strength required not to care – when I’m in the fitness industry? Hmmm. Not sure. The media don’t help our cause at all, focusing only on the youthful face and body as the one desirable image, but perhaps, with all the bad press about fillers going on at the moment we can attempt to turn it all around.
So whilst we are not yet quite at the being “old” stage, I am reading a book about ageing in the baby boomer generation called “The Warmth of the heart prevents your body from rusting” which is one of the most lovely titles for a book that I have ever come across. It is going to persuade me to reconsider our options. Why are we all so scared of ageing? What is the desire to stay looking young all about? Essentially we are the first generation to undertake this extended ageing process because we are expected to live a lot longer than even our parents. Therefore, we have no points of reference and will need to make it up as we go along. So. What are we going to do? Keep trying to look younger? Keep going under the knife? Keep being obsessed with skin deep beauty? Really?? Why aren’t we embracing our new found freedom to live longer and age gracefully more successfully? How can we accept the decline of our bodies if we do not stop looking at ourselves and instead see the world around us and marvel at it? Do more things that aren’t all about ourselves?
In the book the author notes that finding the right balance is not easy for our society. We have a terrible opinion of old age – “the words ‘decline’, ‘horror’ and ‘affliction’ that spring to our lips speak volumes about the disgust and fear that the sufferings of ageing and death inspire in us”.
She suggests that instead we need to “tackle old age with humour – even deride it”. She says that old age is neither a complete disaster nor a golden age. “It is an age that is just as rich and as worthy of being lived as all the others – an age that is exciting to live, with it’s joys and difficulties” as long as we can find the means to live it well, making it a time or growth rather than a time of decline. Seeing that time as a “unique opportunity to discover aspects of ourselves that we did not know, to see, to feel and to love in a new way. Instead of becoming embittered, unattractive old people, we can hope to surround ourselves with joy and human warmth”.
Come on girls….time to take a stand and begin to start enjoying ageing both naturally and disgracefully.
January 21st, 2012 at 3:56 pm
Depressing though, all the same. The huge mirror I have in my hall way catches natural light and – well, let’s just say I don’t look in it very often. It’s all about lighting. I say we walk about with a mini spotlight clamped on, like a headband, so that we look good all the time.
January 21st, 2012 at 5:00 pm
Excellent idea. Must invent immediately Lx
January 22nd, 2012 at 7:39 pm
oh you’re GORGEOUS. what are you talking about…? it’s what inside. totally. denying the ageing process is denying that you’re one step closer to dying. the west is in total denial and out of touch with the only certainty in life – death. let’s love those crows feet! it means we laugh! and our faces can still express naturally. that’s far more beautiful, in my book. love. x
January 22nd, 2012 at 11:08 pm
My mother always says that – “keep smiling and then nobody will see the lines” – I’m trying …. Lx
January 23rd, 2012 at 11:48 am
Every time one picks up a magazine they’re littered with young models tempting us with face cream, claiming they’ve used it for years and it’s why they have no wrinkles. I think very often the media portray ordinary women as generally thick!
I’m 42 and still feel young. If I’m aging, so be it. I’ll never go near a Botox clinic. I’d rather grow old as me and not some plastic substitute.
CJ x
January 23rd, 2012 at 1:04 pm
Good for you x
January 23rd, 2012 at 3:22 pm
I don’t think those women who’ve turned to modern medicine to stave off aging look young. At best, it’s a short-term trick. We all know what the worst is: plastic, stretched thin, just plain weird. Even when the face looks perfect, there’s an incongruity to it that looks and, more, *feels* unnatural. (I don’t mean that literally – I’ve never touched anyone who’s had work done!)
I’m 42, and sense that I’m just about to turn a corner here with my wrinkles and greys, which are piling on at an ever increasing rate. I hope I have the courage and wisdom to go with it all, and see the beauty that grows with experience and life. I’ll do my best to stay fit, but must accept that no matter how thin and toned I am, and even when I cover up those greys (which I will certainly do), I won’t look 30 again. – But I’ll know this skin better than I ever could have then, and I hope that that shines through.
January 23rd, 2012 at 7:20 pm
GOOD FOR YOU…..strong on the inside – that’s what we want Lx
January 27th, 2012 at 4:05 am
About ten years ago I was sitting in a beauty salon reading an article about plastic surgery. I turned to my sister, who was with me, and said: “What do you think about plastic surgery?” Her answer: “You’ll need it, but I don’t recommend it.” Now I laugh when she freaks out about her little lines.
Well, I think it’s a matter of what you are comfortable with. I make myself feel better by doing facial exercises: I’ve got a book and there are resources on the net. It gives me something to do and it relaxes the face, if nothing else. There is also facial acupuncture. Apparently it’s very good, but it’s expensive. Not as expensive as plastic surgery, though. It uses pressure points, which can also be worked with the finger tips (carefully). Always being aware of the face, not slouching, and not frowning helps. Lymphatic massage too is very nice.
Surgeons are great for removing unwanted moles or fatty tissue. I had a little fat deposit removed from the forehead – it bugged me. The surgeons are so good these days – I have no scar, even though an old-fashioned scalpel was used. Laser procedures are great these days. There is so much choice.
I remember reading Sophia Lauren’s book and she talked about how she tried to take time each day for her beauty ritual. It’s more about the sense of taking care of oneself than some special beauty tricks. Real plastic surgery though is for professionals who have to be in the spotlight all the time, in my opinion. I don’t judge anyone who does it, though. Keep all options open, I say.
January 27th, 2012 at 12:46 pm
Sophia Lauren must have had tons of work done? She looks amazing though….good bone structure helps – rather than looking like a finger puppet!! I agree – keeping options open always a good thing. Lx