“Mum”, my youngest child said to me before school “I am reluctant to go to school today”.
“Good word” I said, “what’s the problem – what are you upset about?”
“Nothing” he replied, “I was just checking out the word”.
He was a little upset last night. When he’s tired and he’s been with his father, he really struggles with the whole separation thing. Big fat tears rolled down his cheeks in bed last night as he said that he missed his dad and that he was disappointed because he hadn’t seen much of him at the wedding. This aspect of divorce is so hard – he hates the fact that we live apart. His sadness is a constant reminder of the ongoing pain of separation. He is perhaps a little more intense than most, he has always had a far greater awareness and sensitivity in what he hears and sees in the world compared to his siblings, but nevertheless it is so sad to see.
I told him I’d ring his father and tell him how he was feeling and try and get him to spend some time with him just on his own this week…
He’s happy now. His dad has just picked him up – it’s 8.30pm but never mind. They’ll walk back home to his house together and he can have a story and a chat and just spend some time together and hopefully he’ll feel better and a little more secure about his place in our lives.
September 21st, 2009 at 3:32 pm
I think that's a really cool way to deal with it. Well done. x
September 21st, 2009 at 4:04 pm
the upside of STILL talking coherently with your ex…..for your son….your kids..ho hum…l'm as confused as anyone…
September 21st, 2009 at 4:26 pm
You are a great mum.
It is so hard seeing your child sad, isn't it? Have had similar conversations with Youngest Daughter and it makes my heart sore, every time. Feel so damned guilty, like I've let her down by not managing to stay married to her Dad.
Really, really empathise. And well done for being a bit bendy with the rules on a school night. Chin up. You did good! x
September 21st, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Oh that's sad but lovely that you both put aside your differences and made your youngest son feel loved and special – we all need that sometimes however old we get.
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:18 am
ah babes..such a hard one. as a mother it breaks my heart…at least his dad came and fetched him. at least. so hard. lots love xx j