My lovely cousin who lives in Toronto replied immediately to my request about what to do in snowy conditions. Unfortunately, whilst I was expecting a top ten list of emergency tips and items required to carry about my person before leaving the house, for example something like this:-
Spade
Blanket
Matches (for setting fire to nostril hairs when frozen)
Candles (not sure why)
Salt
Snow boots
Rope
UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES POUR HOT WATER IN FRONT OF YOUR PATH YOU WILL BREAK YOUR NECK
Cat litter
Chocolate (will use spare advent calenders)
and so on…in typical killjoy – this is a disaster – what do we do sort of way, but I didn’t get that sort of list from her at all…..
I got:-
“What does one do with the snow?
Skating
Tobogganing
Snow ball fights
Making snow angels
Sculpting lurid figures out of snow
Running naked into the snow out of a hot sauna (Russian and optional)
Singing lyrical songs about the snow fall accompanied by some simple guitar keys that compare the falling of snow to passage of time, but also symbolize purity and a clean slate…..
By the way, pouring hot water will have the effect of creating a skating rink and the road doesn’t seem the ideal place”.
TYPICAL! I don’t want to know how to PLAY and have FUN in it – I want to know how not to die in it!
and then she told me about something they are going to do in February:-
“That’s when the Rideau canal, which runs through the city, freezes over (with some help) and you can skate for miles and miles, with a cup of hot chocolate in your hand and a “beaver tail” (a fattening and sweet donut-like concoction) in your teeth”.
Which sounds quite fun I was thinking, but what if the ice breaks and somebody falls under and can’t get back up? Or burns themselves with their hot chocolate? And I’m not even going there about what I might look like exposing my “beaver tail” to the world….
Am resending email to her demanding that she removes all options of fun and tells me how to survive in an ice storm.
This possibly sums up the difference between a British and a Canadian approach to snow. Or is it just me?
January 8th, 2010 at 2:01 am
Please accept my apology for not taking the emergency tips request seriously. It just didn’t look all that bad on the pictures. Do you have snow banks? If you do, then a snow blower might be useful. I’ve been informed, however, by my husband, that snow-blowing while intoxicated is illegal and you can get charged for it, at least here one person did today.
You’ve already got the military in, which is what the mayor of Toronto did in the late 90s, when we got hit with over 2 feet of snow (it was considered the biggest joke then). Otherwise, winter tires are essential, especially for small cars. And, if you’ve still got your electricity, it’s a good thing. I would not run out and buy a portable generator as of yet. A number of years back Ottawa and Montreal lost all power for weeks due to an ice-storm and ugly profit-taking ensued by some unscrupulous businesses, which were subsequently hung out to dry by the angry public.
Kitty litter is not a myth, but be forewarned that it sticks most obnoxiously to your boots and gets in all over the house. And, at the risk of repeating myself, don’t forget to have fun with the snow!
January 8th, 2010 at 8:04 am
Thanks Anna – “snow-blowing?” that sounds fun – especially if it’s illegal whilst intoxicated – sounds right up my street. How do you do it? Or do I need a terminator like back pack and big boots.
OMG hadn’t thought about getting a portable generator. Might need to buy. JUST IN CASE.
And thanks for cat litter tip. Not good then. Lxxx
January 8th, 2010 at 4:06 am
Oh for god’s sake
- shovel up the snow as soon as possible otherwise it will freeze into a layer of ice and you’ll never get it up (so to speak).
- use salt (not cooking) on the ice
- don’t put your lips anywhere near a frozen car door lock
- don’t pour ice on your windscreen to melt the ice
- abandon fashion and wear a hat. (That’s where most of your heat escapes from.)
- don’t eat the snow, especially if it’s yellow
- make a snow angel
xx
January 8th, 2010 at 8:01 am
THANK YOU EXPAT MUM. PHEW. Somebody wrote me a PROPER list. Now am feeling much better. Lx
January 8th, 2010 at 7:53 am
You could add ice-swimming to the list of crazy stuff to do in the snow… that’s where you make a hole in the ice on river/lake/sea. Have hot sauna and lower yourself into the water. Sounds crazy? maybe but the amazing feeling of relaxation after… your limbs feel like they have lost half their weight and consequently you wander round feeling like you are floating
January 8th, 2010 at 8:22 am
Stay indoors with a bottle of good whisky and a warm man/woman! of your choice, until spring….
The world will still be there when you emerge!
Ps. my little terrier says, ‘what ever you do, don’t cock your leg against metal lamp posts!’
Pps. I have an old friend who lives in Toronto, John Lowson and his wife Anne.
January 8th, 2010 at 1:58 pm
Ouch – hadn’t thought about that dog problem….I don’t know your Toronto friends but my cousin might!! If she comes back after being unimpressed with my snow dramas….Lx
January 8th, 2010 at 12:17 pm
l need more info on ’snow blowing’….and any info anyone on has on just surviving family, during said snow/ice age….
January 8th, 2010 at 7:42 pm
Oh the generator thing has me worried – our power keeps flicking on and off, very tempted by the portable generator (but guess in order to find one I’ll have to venture out into the big wide world …)
April 15th, 2010 at 5:10 pm
Thank you for a very clear and helpful post. I am definitely a violator of many of these rules. I often find myself conflicted when writing a blog post because I see myself writing more than people want to read, but I feel that I have to do the subject matter justice by thoroughly covering it. I feel that by following some of these rules I end up cutting out important aspects to the discussion. I guess you have to find a balance.