This is very good. I have some games to giveaway and some chocolates and an online gift company I know well called Handpicked Gifts has suggested all sorts of things that I could buy – mainly for myself instead of for someone else from their Valentine’s selection http://www.handpickedcollection.com/special-occasions/valentine-s-gifts.html. I particularly love the Aspinal wallets.

However, I’m not really sure about the idea of buying something for myself. I’ve tried doing that before = mainly for Christmas – wrapped presents I’d bought for myself and opened them in a Mr Bean-esque style saying “oooh, how lovely, who bought this for me?” looking around expectantly and lots of “It’s just what I wanted” and it was all going quite well until about the third present when the children started looking at me with utter contempt and I began to feel a little bit like a sad loser.

SO. I won’t be buying anything for myself but neither will I be ignoring the day and I’ve been offered a fabulous bracelet that I’d definitely wear myself but I’m going to let you have the chance to have it. I may enter myself. That’s my prerogative. It’s my blog.

LOOK what you can win! A pearl bracelet worth nearly £30 which you can see here:- http://www.handpickedcollection.com/pearl-tag-bracelet.html

So here we go then – it’a all very simple – I want you to leave a comment on my blog about a funny Valentine’s story to cheer me up. Then I just need to you follow @FamilyAffairs and @HandPickedCollection and you also need to Like their Facebook page which is here https://www.facebook.com/HandpickedCollection so nothing too difficult I don’t think.

Good luck.

Just to help you – here is Sally Phillips’ funny Valentine story (but yours doesn’t have to be nearly that long – or mad…):-

Valentine’s Day – the 16th Best Day of the Year* for Lovers by Sally Phillips for The Handpicked Collection
(leaders of the revolt against overpriced wilt-in-a-minute roses for Valentine’s Day…)

Valentine’s Day. The day I try hardest not to look like a gerbil (difficulty level 5) approaches. I take five online ‘How Romantic Are You?’ tests and do not score highly. This is a shock. I pride myself on being the 12th least emotionally stunted comedian in the country and (arguably) the second most romantic after Jack Dee. True, it has never occurred to me to leave my husband an ‘I-love-you-have-a-great-day’ post-it note under the toilet seat but surely ‘You are spiritless and dead’ (MySpace) is over-stating it?

I like the dinner and compliments side of Valentine’s Day, it’s the thoughtful extras that stress me out. I have experienced few things more frightening than being led blindfold by a fruitcake Valentine into a dimly lit room full of balloons. I would genuinely prefer to come home to a bed with ‘I drown squirrels’ spelled out on it in Refreshers than one strewn with rose petals. Producing anything more complicated than a heart-shaped fried egg on Valentine’s Day should be a sackable offence. Fortunately my husband agrees. He’s still hard to buy for. What to get for an amateur arsonist who is terrified of dog poo and whose favourite film is Mrs Doubtfire? I did find combustible false breasts with wire bristles for Christmas.
I hope I don’t get roses again.

How to receive roses graciously: Lesson One.
Receiving roses graciously is so hard the University of Ham is now offering it as a degree course so what follows is a very simplistic overview. Say “ohTHANKYOUtheyresoBEAUTIFUL!” with meaning, inhale deeply and pretend they smell of something. You must not then leave them in the sink – unwrap them immediately and attempt to hack the bottom section of the stems off at an angle with your kitchen scissors. Although this will be akin to cutting an Action Man’s leg off with a Twix you must persist as whipping out bread knives and shears etc will make you look unfeminine and scare your Valentine. As will screaming ‘sh*t me’ when the thorns get stuck in your thumbs.

Do not hammer the stems with a meat mallet in front of your Valentine for the same reason, also because it kills the flowers. N.B. if your roses do not come with rosefood you CANNOT, it turns out, make your own by tipping caster sugar into the water instead, though this is a fun way to grow Quorn. Try to put your roses in something classy, like a vase or spaghetti jar. Using a decapitated Matey bottle may seem ungrateful.

If you are still excited about your evening after all that then you may be experiencing lurrrve and will probably get distracted and forget to put any water in and your roses will wizen. Oh well. Thank God I don’t live in America where Valentining is such a serious business people who score twos on ‘How Romantic Are You?’ quizzes are left in swamps to be eaten by alligators.

My husband and I may never do Valentine’s on a pink horse, pockets jammed with doves but deep down we’re very romantic. Maybe very deep down and maybe romantic in the way a homophobe may, deep down, one day, turn out to be gay…but we’re up for the 14th. We like each other. We have a copy of the Handpicked Collection catalogue. And we can tango.

Here’s a picture of the winning prize:-

I was going to ask you to send in your child’s drawing of a louse but actually they’re not going to be that bothered about the prize because it’s not more for parents than kids – so instead, perhaps you could just let me know how many legs a head louse has and leave it at that. If you’ve got any funny head lice stories then even better – it’s not a particularly attractive subject is and I’m trying to make this post a little more sexy – it’s not really working.

If anybody reading this is considering sending me a Valentine’s card because I’m newly single then just to confirm, I don’t actually have lice (and neither do my children – although yes, I do have children. Lots of them) I’m just doing a competition.

If you don’t know what head lice and/or nits are then you will find all you need here on the Vosene nit knowledge site for all your nitting needs:-

http://www.vosenekids.co.uk/headlice-knowledge/

In conjunction with the release of their new look bottle, HP is giving Mo Bros across the UK the chance to celebrate and share their top Mo-moments on Facebook www.facebook.com/hpsauceuk – the most enthusiastic Mo Bro stands the chance of becoming the Gentlemanly Face of HP Movember, claiming £5,000 towards their Movember fund and a VIP trip for themselves and three friends to London.

Throughout the month of Movember the HP Facebook page will also host a series of competitions and challenges aimed to Mo’tivate men and bring the Movember spirit to life. HP teams and individuals can have fun and embrace the experience, from bacon buttie adventures to celebrity inspired Mos, and then upload their most Mo-tastic photos to HP’s Facebook page – the best images will receive contributions towards their Mo funds.

Mo Sistas can also get involved and support their Mo Bros – The People’s Choice Award for the best HP Mo Bro will be presented to the Bro who has receives the most ‘likes’ over the course of the month’s challenges.

Registered Mo Bros & Sistas can get involved by visiting the HP Facebook page on www.facebook.com/hpsauceuk and find out more about Movember at www.movember.com

For this month – formerly known as November, men (and women??) will start to sprout and sport splendid moustaches. This is all for a very good cause – check it all out here:- http://uk.movember.com/about. It is to raise much needed funds and awareness for men’s health – especially prostate cancer and other cancers that affect men.

I have been thinking about my father hugely of late and no more so than today – the first day of Movember. He died almost exactly a year ago now from bowel cancer and we have all recently agreed that not having him around seems to be getting harder, not easier and we are all missing him hugely. He had one of the most splendid moustaches so this month will be hard. We all keep seeing similarities in other people …. SO why not turn a sad situation into something more positive.

Could you please send in photos of your moustaches from around the world and at the end of the month we will pick a winner. I promise to give generously to the charity for the best moustache – I want your stories of where your hair growth takes you, who you meet and general updates over the month too.

Let the battle begin. Ready, steady, GROW….

Here, in honour of my father and just to start things off is his effort. Beat that:-

Poor her. Oh well. She’ll get over it I’m sure. In the meantime I’m able to offer two more tickets than I thought for the competition I’m running (which she thinks is REALLY mean of me) and can now give away two pairs of tickets to see him play at the Kempton Park Racecourse on Friday 12th August 2011.

It’s part of the summer programme Kempton Park Racecourse has put on and not only do you get to see him perform but you get to watch some horse racing as well. If you want to see more details about the event or want to buy tickets or enter the competition or find out where it is etc, click on this link: http://www.kempton.co.uk/summer-concerts/

Usual instructions to win the tickets:-

- Follow @FamilyAffairs and @kemptonparkrace on Twitter and Facebook

- RT the link to the competition

- Answer the question: What show was Olly Murs a finalist on? a) X Factor or b) Britain’s got Talent (BGT) and leave your answer here on my blog please.

Easy Peasy.

Good luck.

UPDATE!! The preview is tomorrow evening and I’ve been offered two more tickets to giveaway AND another £250 spending money to go with that. Let me make it clear – you get to see the film and be given a cheque to take away. Will you all please enter the competition? I know you’re doing exams….BUT STILL!!

So now I’ve got FOUR tickets to giveaway to the new GREEN LANTERN film out in cinemas in the UK on 17th June. This is thanks to the Make Mine Milk team who have managed to get the gorgeous man behind the green mask, Ryan Reynolds to participate in their campaign.

The ‘make mine Milk’ campaign is making huge inroads into promoting and reviving our nations love for milk further still and their high profile celebrities are helping remind us all of its natural goodness.

ANYWAY. Here’s how to enter:

* Follow @FamilyAffairs and @makemineMilk on Twitter

* RT my blog post link and leave a comment on my blog telling me the answer to

“What is the fat content of semi skimmed milk?”

Is it a motherly instinct I have to want to lick it off his top lip? Or, um, not?

The ‘make mine Milk’ campaign is making huge inroads into promoting and reviving our nations love for milk further still and their high profile celebrities are helping remind us all of its natural goodness.

On that basis I am very pleased to be working with them again to offer not only two tickets to see the film but £250 spending money as well! The preview is going to be at a Leicester Square cinema (details tbc) on Wednesday 15th June. YOU MUST ENTER!! I’ll be there with my kids. I hope Ryan comes with a milky top lip…..

ANYWAY. Here’s how to enter:

* Follow @FamilyAffairs and @makemineMilk on Twitter

* RT my blog post link and leave a comment on my blog telling me the answer to

“What is the fat content of semi skimmed milk?”

As I mentioned a few days ago, I have 10 free airline tickets to over 150 destinations in May thanks to AirAsia to give away next week at the following press conference. This is an exclusive event that a few of us bloggers have been invited to so the chance of you winning some tickets is high! Let me know if you can come.

Sir Richard Branson lost a bet with Tony Fernandes, CEO of AirAsia Group some time last year. Consequently, on Sunday 1st May he has agreed to become an AirAsia flight attendant for a charity flight and allow the highest bidder to shave his legs in front of the world’s media and guests. Not only that but Alexandra Burke is going to be performing and we will also get a chance to attend a media press conference and a Q and A forum. They are going to take us to Stansted airport for the event on a bus leaving Liverpool Street Station at 10.30am – unless of course you live nearer than that and want to make your own way there.

In addition, a number of competition winners will be chosen at the event by Tony Fernandez and each given two return flights from a selection of AirAsia flights in May – (returning in June will be fine). AirAsia is the leading low-cost carrier in Asia and has around 150 routes covering destinations in Asia, Australia and Europe.

LOTS of other details to follow, including the boring terms and conditions (which I think will include things like that the dates have to be subject to availability and the winner has to pay the tax on their flights) but I just wanted to let you know the basic details initially so that you can get your entry in and your request for a much valued place on the bus!!

I will be there at the event along with Jennifer Howze, former Times Online Alpha Mummy blogger and Cybermummy/Britmum founder so we are expecting a lot of interest.

HURRY UP and join in – and if you’re feeling confident enough – please pass this on to anybody else out there you know would be interested – it is open to any bloggers – travel/student/life/geriatric/weird/you get the picture.

Here’s what to do:-

Follow @FamilyAffairs and @AirAsia on Twitter

RT my blog post link and send me your comment (via my blog http://familyaffairsandothermatters.com) telling us why you feel you should have two return airline tickets next month to one of AirAsia’s many destinations and let me know if you can come to the media event to collect the tickets.

Could you also join AirAsia’s Facebook page please – http://www.facebook.com/AirAsia

THAT’S IT! For those of you who can’t make it – don’t despair, there will be a chance to win further airline tickets in October and I am hoping to run a competition to find “the best of” blog posts in travel for that one. Watch this space.”

OMG. We bloggers have not only been offered the chance to win some airline tickets but also attend a massive media event. This is very exciting. Let me explain.

Sir Richard Branson lost a bet with Tony Fernandes, CEO of AirAsia Group some time last year. Consequently, on Sunday 1st May he has agreed to become an AirAsia flight attendant for a charity flight and allow the highest bidder to shave his legs in front of the world’s media and guests. Not only that but Alexandra Burke is going to be performing and we will also get a chance to attend a media press conference and a Q and A forum. They are going to take us to Stansted airport for the event on a bus leaving Liverpool Street Station at 10.30am – unless of course you live nearer than that and want to make your own way there.

In addition, a number of competition winners will be chosen at the event by Tony Fernandez and each given two return flights from a selection of AirAsia flights in May – (returning in June will be fine). AirAsia is the leading low-cost carrier in Asia and has around 150 routes covering destinations in Asia, Australia and Europe.

LOTS of other details to follow, including the boring terms and conditions (which I think will include things like that the dates have to be subject to availability and the winner has to pay the tax on their flights) but I just wanted to let you know the basic details initially so that you can get your entry in and your request for a much valued place on the bus!!

I will be there at the event along with Jennifer Howze, former Times Online Alpha Mummy blogger and Cybermummy/Britmum founder so we are expecting a lot of interest.

HURRY UP and join in – and if you’re feeling confident enough – please pass this on to anybody else out there you know would be interested – it is open to any bloggers – travel/student/life/geriatric/weird/you get the picture.

Here’s what to do:-

Follow @FamilyAffairs and @AirAsia on Twitter

RT my blog post link and send me your comment (via my blog http://familyaffairsandothermatters.com) telling us why you feel you should have two return airline tickets next month to one of AirAsia’s many destinations and let me know if you can come to the media event to collect the tickets.

Could you also join AirAsia’s Facebook page please – http://www.facebook.com/AirAsia

THAT’S IT! For those of you who can’t make it – don’t despair, there will be a chance to win further airline tickets in October and I am hoping to run a competition to find “the best of” blog posts in travel for that one. Watch this space.”

Zambia is truly amazing – abundant wildlife, majestic scenery, tranquil lakes, vibrant culture, friendly people, bush adventure and home to the famous Victoria Falls – one of the “Seven Natural Wonders of the World”.

My elephants live in Zambia:-

We stayed here:-

The Challenge…

The Zambia Tourism Board needs your help in creating a new brand for marketing Zambia as a tourism destination. This will include a slogan and logo to replace the existing “Zambia – the Real Africa”. The slogan should be in English and appeal to a broad, global audience. There are no word limits on the slogan but short and snappy is recommended. Visit www.zambiatourism.com to explore what Zambia has to offer and make your entry as soon as possible!

Closing date is 25 February 2011 so you don’t have long.

Go to www.zambiatourism.com/competition to make your entry.

Good Luck!!