Father | Family Affairs and other matters

MOVEMBER COMPETITION

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

GET GROWING THAT FACIAL HAIR - I've started - there really is no excuse. For this month - formerly known as November, men (and women??) will start to sprout and sport splendid moustaches. This is all for a very good cause - check it all out here:- http://uk.movember.com/about. It is to raise much needed funds and awareness for men's health - especially prostate cancer and other cancers that affect men. I have been thinking about my father hugely of late and no more so than today - the first day of Movember. He died almost exactly a year ago now from bowel cancer and we have all recently agreed that not having him around seems to be getting harder, not easier and we are all missing him hugely. He had one of the most splendid moustaches so this month will be hard. We all keep seeing similarities in other people .... SO why not turn a sad situation into something more positive. Could you please send in photos of your moustaches from around the world and at the end of the month we will pick a winner. I promise to give generously to the charity for the best moustache - I want your stories of where your hair growth takes you, who you meet and general updates over the month too. Let the battle begin. Ready, steady, GROW.... Here, in honour of my father and just to start things off is his effort. Beat that:-

FT WEEKEND MAGAZINE: HAILE GEBRSELASSIE INTERVIEW

Monday, February 28, 2011

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I have got into the habit of feeling obligated to buy the Financial Times Weekend paper every week. I have in fact been buying this paper for quite a long time on and off because it makes me feel clever – even if it’s just the proud walk with the paper under my arm, from [...]

MY FATHER

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

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It's a really beautiful day in Devon. The sun is streaming in through the window where I'm sitting and warming my back - it really is like the box of African sunshine Shiny sent us all is here in this light filled room. My father is in his favourite room in the house still hanging on in there. Very weak now. Not in pain. Calm and peaceful and surrounded by us all. We are all very emotional obviously, but through the tears we have found a strange black humour and a sense of wonderment and love that we are all in this together and able to be part of the extraordinary circle of life....I almost feel like a herd of elephants. It's very basic. Very fundamental. It's what animals have been doing forever. I've written about my father on many occasions before. He is not only my mentor but a very close friend. Somebody whose company I would search out to go to the pub with even if I was not related.... I wrote this one Father's Day about him:- "It was our years in Hong Kong that formed my strongest memories of my father. He was a fairly remote figure when I was growing up. He worked and my mother stayed at home. I mostly recall him in a suit having breakfast and occasionally popping home for lunch. I also remember lots of laughter, drinking, smoking and dancing, but not much of it involving us. Sometimes, when I couldn't sleep I remember him coming into my room. I don't ever recall him reading me a story, I remember him waving his cigarette about to make a pattern in the dark and then leaving me to sleep in a smoke-filled room. I think the three of us were more of an irritation for him than anything else, slightly getting in the way of his sailing, his gin and tonics and the attention of his wife. He has always put my mother before us and maybe that is how it should be. They enjoy each others company and have been married for 45 years. I sent him a virtual Father's Day card today with the following quote attached "The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother" Theodore Hesburgh I didn't like the fact that he preferred to be with her when I was growing up, but now I can see how important that is as a life message. Obviously children will grow up and leave and it is important to maintain and nurture your relationship with your partner (almost) over and above that of your children and to show them how to live in a loving, respectful relationship. It wasn't until my two brother's and I were old enough to go to the pub with him that his view of us began to change (and possibly vice versa). Once we could hold our alcohol and our own in a conversation, he started to enjoy our company. He retired before the age of 60 and loves it. He has learnt how to fly. He has a huge lust for knowledge. He reads, he sails, he talks, he travels. He also learnt how to slow down and appreciate the smaller things in life, something he was unable to do during his working life. He is the first person I would turn to for advice regarding the big decisions in my life. When I need clarity, I talk to him. He has always been able to see the bigger picture and to cut through the crap. About 8 months ago his cancer came back and he was given a fairly grim prognosis. "Oh well, shit happens" was his response to the news. He said that he had done all that he had ever wanted to do in his life and that everything else was a bonus. Not long ago, after 6 months of chemotherapy he has amazingly been given the "all clear". Who knows what that exactly means, but for now, I love the fact that he is around and interested in our lives and even secretly quite proud of all of us for different reasons. I think that now, after years of questioning what life was all about, he looks at his life, at his wife and at us and feels that he has achieved enough. If nothing else, I believe it was important for him to give us simply "a father". Something he didn't have the luxury of. Long may it last." Well, it hasn't lasted nearly long enough. He's only 70. Too young. Yesterday, as I held his hand and rubbed his back and we talked about stuff and I told him all that he already knows he said in a very small voice "I am still trying to give your mother more of my life".....and it made me cry. What are we all going to do without him.

FATHERLY ADVICE

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

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“I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it”. Harry S. Truman Just continuing briefly with the father theme…I mentioned in my previous post that I often thought about what my father might do in a similar situation [...]

ARSEHOLE

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

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Had dinner with my rather sheepish father tonight. We looked at his x-ray and you could see a definite crack at the top of his humerus, which is causing him a lot of pain. Not quite enough pain, mind you to warrant taking the very strong pain-killers that you can’t mix with alcohol, because he [...]

BROKEN ARM

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

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My father is in London for the boat show. It has become an annual pilgrimage and my mother has given up coming with him because over the years she has learnt that she really hates him after he has been to the boat show. He always organises various pissed-farty lunches with other blokes who like [...]