Holiday | Family Affairs and other matters

HOLIDAY DIARY

Monday, August 15, 2011

LAST DAY! ALREADY. We've only just arrived. I have smothered my unused trainers and put them back into the suitcase. All week I have been deeply regretting my daughter's advice to buy a La Sensa push up bikini with so much padding it's actually given me a cleavage which is unheard of. This of course, whilst being aware that I am too old to wear a bikini but don't really care IS GREAT - I LOVE HAVING A CLEAVAGE. But today I am wearing a different bikini. An older, less dishonest bikini - a flat as a pancake sort of honest bikini. With no padding. I honestly look like my boob job of yesterday has been stolen in the night. I have no bosoms beside the pool today at all. Never mind. Nobody noticing me anyway. Still wearing anorak of invisibility and GUESS WHAT? Turns out that two of the single dad's are a gay couple, which at least explains their complete lack of interest! (joke). None of us want to leave. Daughter says she's had "the best holiday ever". We've all had a brilliant time for different reasons and I've now finished "Freedom" by Jonathan Franzen which I loved. Such a luxury - even if I do have a book shaped tan to go home with. Daughter appears to have spent the day hugging and crying with all her new best friends. Where are all mine? This is the first holiday I have had since I"ve been divorced with only my children on my own - without being with other friends and/or family and it's been a huge success. It's made me feel a bit braver. Of course I had a few brief wild fluctuations - going from feeling deliriously happy and smug over dinner about having such a fun time with my children whilst other couples on other tables looked miserable....to then the next day feeling completely the opposite - sorry for myself and jealous of everyone around me. Pathetic. But understandable I guess. I talked to my mother. Told her about not speaking to anyone new and how it was fine, for the first time in my life I wasn't in dire need of friends and she said "Finally....you are growing up". I'm not sure though. Is that a sign of maturity? I don't want to turn into a grumpy old person who can't be arsed to talk to strangers. It's good to get a balance. But, on this occasion a period of quiet reflection was just what the doctor ordered.

HOLIDAY DIARY

Friday, August 12, 2011

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DAY 6 OMG I AM ACTUALLY HAVING TO HAVE BREAKFAST ON MY OWN in manner of all the other sad single people around and about that we were all feeling desperately sorry for yesterday - in fact son's GF actually described it as "heartbreaking" and she was so horrified about one of the single dad's eating on his own that we tried to find him later to invite him to our table but luckily he was playing beach volleyball with lots of nubile young staff and seemed completely fine. I am feeling like a sad old woman with no friends......which is not very surprising given that is what I actually am. This is awful. Must go and sit on a sun bed immediately. Then get a text from friend: How's it going? Hope u r having lots of sex? Nope. No sex. Have a boyfriend remember but even if I wanted to (which I don't) am in a room with 4 kids remember. Oh. Well u will need to have sex during the day when they're all out. I give up. What IS she talking about? She's not very good at predictive texting - perhaps she means socks? Or chocolate or wine or something. I'm on the bloody twin bed sleeping with my daughter and my son is in the corner on a camp bed whilst my 18 year old and his girlfriend lord it in the luxury suite next door. Honestly. This modern parenting lark. Not at all sure. Had first hot shower of the holiday this evening and when I mentioned to all the kids that they must have mended the boiler they all just stared at me. "Wot do u mean?" they said. "It's been hot every night for us". Oh. Then it's just poor old me at the end of the line just paying for the whole thing who gets the cold shower then is it? No daughter or youngest son again this evening. My 18 y/o thinks I should make them have dinner with us and then go and see their friends but I can't see the point of that. I see them all the time at home. It doesn't matter. I expect the real reason is because 18 y/o son doesn't want to sit and have dinner with just me and GF again for dinner. I'm loving their company though. It's really a great luxury to sit and eat and then drink with them every night. Hearing about their plans for the future...although we can't talk about that bit TOO much = the immediate future...the university bit, for fear of jinxing any of it. So we're just talking about stuff...all very relaxed. AMAZINGLY (probably because he was showing off) my son has even asked me some questions that don't in any way relate to him. Such progress. This is why I am on holiday with my children. I LOVE IT and I'm very very lucky. Brings back memories of my father saying "I only actually began liking my children's company when they were old enough to buy me a drink in the pub". Nearly time to go home already. It's gone so quickly. The kids have done loads every day. Water sport stuff, tennis and football. I have done nothing. My trainers are positively shouting at me from the corner of the room. Going to smother them tonight. Straight back in suitcase. Should not have brought them. They make me feel guilty. Still. Short lived arguably wasted emotion guilt.

HOLIDAY DIARY

Thursday, August 11, 2011

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DAY 5 I am now sun bed shaped. I have lost two of my children to the kids clubs, even in the evenings now, as they have made it very clear they prefer the company of their new friends to their mother. How totally unreasonable. Only my son and his girlfriend have deigned to join [...]

TEENAGERS ON TOUR

Monday, August 8, 2011

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As the proud owner of an 18 year old on the brink of leaving home (assuming he gets the results required to get into the university of his choice) I am beginning to learn how to let go and stop worrying about him when he's out of my sight. Given that finishing A Levels appears to be the excuse to pack in about eight different post exam holidays where they don't appear to get any sleep for days on end, to worry about them daily would simply result in a heart attack I suspect. He is about to embark on an 3 week tour of "cheap beers" around Europe with five of his friends. The thought of it fills me with horror. In my day, when we all went inter-railing around Europe our parents simply had to wave us off with our rucksacks and hope for the best. Now we have a means of spying on them, of tracking their route. Sort of like giving them a bar code or a little mini camera to put on to their heads. We can check in and even sometimes expect a reply. Now that he's 18 he has finally added me as a "friend" on Facebook so that I can see what they're all up to. Initially I was delighted - how wonderful to be able to share in his experience, but I have to say it's not for the weak hearted and I'm wondering if perhaps it was better for my parents who were blissfully ignorant about what we all got up to. Mostly it's all rather horrifying and you wish you hadn't looked... My friend called me this morning. "OMIGOD, I've just had a look at Jack's photos and I'm quite sure, although his head is turned to the side that it's not a spot he's got on his lower lip, IT"S A NEW PIERCING! I'm going to kill him." I too discovered that my son had allowed himself to be branded with yet another tattoo whilst on holiday recently in Cyprus. Then you have to look at photos of them behaving badly in nightclubs and dancing on tables - "who ARE all those people he's with?" I constantly think to myself. Still, it's a brave new world out there and we might as well get on it with them and I guess it's reassuring to know they're still alive. What do you think?

HOLIDAY DIARY

Sunday, August 7, 2011

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Quiet weekend. The kids have all arrived safely in Portugal where they are staying all week with their father and new family. Not expecting to hear much from them and better if I try not to call too often so that they can enjoy it without thinking too much about other stuff. Wish I was still on holiday with them though. This time last week I was here:- DAY 4 God. I hope what I'm doing is recharging my batteries which are clearly so low that I can't be arsed to do anything at all. It takes all my energy to get off the bloody sunbed and if any of the kids expect me to pass them the sun cream, let alone apply it - well forget it, I just can't do it. My arms won't work. Maybe I'm doing an entire re-boot, rather than a recharge. Not yet sure. I have invented a new spray on suncream cubicle to sell to all areas - you walk in, press the level of sun protection you require and have a 30 second all over body spray that avoids all the efforts of lathering copious amounts of cream on ineffectively several times a day. I think it would definitely take off. I am surprising myself by being spectacularly anti-social. The only people I've talked to so far have either been staff or have come out of my body (except son's GF). If Builder Bloke had been with me he'd have talked to everyone by now and be sitting at the bar amusing them all. I have noticed about four single dad's with their kids. Two of which seem to have already made friends and are having dinner together every night. Still, it's because I have all the company I need - my funny gorgeous children and about 85 books. Am making my decisions based on what colour the Mentos sweets I'm eating are - pink, yellow or orange. All a bit too much effort. Will buy the mint ones tomorrow in order to ensure I get the outcome I want every time. Finally mustered up the energy to do the "Sunset Stretch" with son's GF which involved a lot of wobbly standing on one leg. I made the mistake of borrowing my daughter's cut off short shorts. The venue was outside and in front of a pedestrian path. Not good then when half the poses involved lying on the floor and hugging alternate knees in to chest. I had to keep checking for passing traffic before raising legs in order avoid traumatising any poor unsuspecting people of catching a glimpse of my bits oozing out of the edges. Yuk. Even worse is that my son took some photos. I was initially quite pleased because I don't have many photos of me in bendy positions and given that I'm a stretching instructor, it's something that I'm not too bad at. Could have done a bit of showing off. Sadly, (although I should have known) all the pictures he took were of his girlfriend. He only took one of me and I don't look like I'm doing anything very strenuous. In fact, I look like I'm either having a little sleep or am in fact dead - like the Ron Muick exhibit "Dead Dad":- Here is one of many he took of his girlfriend - I was just in front of her - would have been a good picture:- But instead, this was the only one of me:- Rubbish. Not one I'm going to be able to put in my professional album.

I’M BACK!!

Friday, August 5, 2011

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I said I”M BACK NOW!!!! Typical. Now you’ve all gone away. DAY 2 of holiday diary: The weather is glorious and there doesn’t appear to be anything at all in the sea that is either going to eat you or even bite you. No jellyfish even. Just a few sea urchins near the rocks. The [...]

HELLO AGAIN

Thursday, August 4, 2011

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HELLO AGAIN. Thank you SO much to all of you who left comments on my last post and well done to those of you who know me well enough to guess that I was probably going away. Perfect timing for a blog break and a good idea to avoid blogging from my destination in order [...]