Separation | Family Affairs and other matters

CHILDREN AND DIVORCE

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

My youngest son had a spectacular melt down on Monday morning before school. I've been thinking about what that can have been about and I have come to the conclusion that "we fuck them up" as parents at the best of times, but when their parents are divorced or separated and they are living in separate houses it is even worse. Regardless of all the personal issues all six children involved in our equation have to deal with, it is the very fact that they have to live in two separate houses that must be difficult for them all. I gather, from speaking to friends who remember the scenario from their own childhood that the most difficult part is the transition from one parent to another - adapting from one to another. No doubt, once there all is well, they know what to expect and get on and enjoy it. They are in a different but familiar world. But, when those two worlds collide, albeit on doorsteps, it causes upset all round. Especially if you are dropped back like a small package and expected to get into school clothes, grab your stuff, turn around and get on with your day in the next five minutes. Children need routine and familiarity and Sunday nights are an important time for school kids to get their heads in gear for the week ahead. Builder Bloke even acknowledges that his children should be back in the maternal home at a reasonable hour on Sunday evening so that they are calm and together for school. So after what was no doubt a lovely weekend spent with his father and new family he ended up staying there at the last minute on Sunday night because of logistics and was then tired, emotional, not feeling 100% and discombobulated when he was dropped back on Monday morning. Seriously. It was not good. We need to avoid that in future at all costs. Anybody else got any tips for how to make the transition as easy as possible?

EASTER MONDAY

Monday, March 24, 2008

2 Comments

It’s still snowing! What very strange weather. If it carries on, at least next time I go out to a pub, I can wear my blue smurf ski-boots, which will protect my ankle. should I be stupid enough to fall over again. I can also sway gently in them without too much effort. Had a [...]

CHRISTMAS AND THE SINGLE PARENT

Thursday, December 13, 2007

1 Comment

Our own and our children’s expectations of happiness at Christmas time can be huge and consequently it can be tough enough getting through the festive period when you fit into a “normal” nuclear family unit, but when you are a single parent, it’s even tougher. How often do you see images of children rushing into [...]