Family Affairs and other matters » Skiing

THE RETURN OF THE KIDS

Family Affairs — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 16:11:00 +0000

My children are home. Hooray! With a few more war wounds than when they left. My daughter’s elbow is very badly bruised and clearly very painful. My son not only has a broken tooth (could have been worse – apparently, when the dentist glued it back on he accidentally dropped it down his throat and my son had to choke it back up again!), but a two inch gash on his hand that has butterfly steri-strips on to keep it together. If they had been with me I would have insisted that they wear wrist protectors – snow boarding is notoriously harsh to wrists..had they been wearing them, his mate wouldn’t have sprained his wrist and he wouldn’t have had a gash (isn’t hindsight and the smugness of a mother who wasn’t there, a wonderful thing?).

Apparently not only did the ex spend two days in bed with flu but he got altitude sickness up the glacier (3000ft plus) and nearly fainted….

A quite extraordinarily accident-packed week.

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE SNOW

Family Affairs — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 17:59:00 +0000

A text arrived from my ex this afternoon in response to one I’d sent earlier asking how both children were – one with a damaged arm and one with a missing tooth:-

“Tooth been glued back on but won’t work and you will have to take him to dentist when we get back. Have been at hospital all day with H as he has sprained his wrist (H being our 15 year old son’s mate) and I am in bed feeling really ill, I have a very high temperature and am freezing cold”. According to my children he got altitude sickness.

This time last year 10 of us went away skiing and not one person got injured or sick. They have managed to achieve a 100% record. What is that about? I can’t bloody believe it. What a sorry sight they will make at meal time tonight. Such a shame.

YET ANOTHER "SKIING" ACCIDENT

Family Affairs — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 22:54:00 +0000

I am actually feeling quite sorry for my ex husband as well as my daughter. Not only has he had to spend day 1 of the skiing holiday in the hospital sorting out my daughter’s damaged elbow, he has spent the first part of day 2 shopping, instead of skiing to amuse injured daughter and the second part of the day at the dentist because teenage son has broken his front tooth in half. He broke it in the hotel swimming pool – it was obviously quite bad because he actually managed to retrieve the broken bit from the bottom of the pool.

Now I am feeling sorry for my son too…

PANCAKE FEST

Family Affairs — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:06:00 +0000

There was something unsettling about my very quiet mornings whilst I was away skiing with other adults and no children. Nobody spoke. I presume that it was because they didn’t need to. It made me feel as if I had to talk rubbish if necessary to fill the gaps (not difficult, I hear you say). I realise why. It’s impossible to have a morning without speaking as a mother of three children…even if you are on holiday and not having to do the “wash your face, clean your teeth, get dressed, have breakfast” routine. Children talk all the time (unless they’re teenage boys obviously). Tomorrow morning they are all planning a pancake fest before 7.30am which should be interesting. I think though, on balance, I’d go for the chaos every time (I’m saying that now, before my kitchen ceiling is covered in egg, flour and batter, when I will have definately have changed my mind).

Went to see my friend this afternoon. She has broken both ankles falling off a curb whilst wearing wedge heels. What a nightmare. She literally can’t do anything and has to be pushed about in a wheelchair.

BODE MILLER IN CHAMONIX

Family Affairs — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 11:55:00 +0000

My “I’m so pleased to be home and I’m never going to shout at the children again” attitude to life has lasted a pathetically short time.

I went away because I felt I needed to do some thinking – away from everybody else after a very busy Christmas and New Year (a luxury to be able to escape, I know and one that can quite often, bizarrely only be afforded by divorced couples who from time to time can get their partners to look after the children). I spent a week in a chalet with an old college friend and two people I’d never met before and days on the snow trying to get the point of skiing and talking to mountains (and farting a lot – jet propelled ski trousers really do work, but only if you’re happy to ski alone). I wanted answers. This is my top 10 list of things what I learnt:-

1. Mountains don’t talk.
2. Skiing is 70% confidence and 30% balance.
3. I don’t know what I want to do next. But I’m clearly not doing it or I wouldn’t be questioning what I’m doing.
4. If you want to go somewhere and hang out with lots of men – skiing in January works very well (probably skiing at any time that doesn’t involve half terms or Easter would work). I think I might compile a list of top 10 places to go each month around the world to find men. March – definately the rugby 7′s in Hong Kong. Or does that make me seem just a little bit desperate?
5. The people that write sex stories for Men’s magazines actually exist and are quite normal.
6. That I might stop going on random holidays with strangers – it was good fun, but I’d prefer to be with old friends and/or family.
7. That investing in my own ski boots was the best use of money ever. You can’t put a price on pain.
8. Bode Miller is cool – he was in the same bar as us one night, having just won the men’s super-combined (a one day event adding the time of downhill in the morning to a slalom in the afternoon). I would have tried to pull him if it wasn’t for the fact that he was about the same age as my son.
9. If I drink vodka I don’t get a hangover.
10. I’m really pleased I have kids. The other three in the chalet don’t have any kids. Bizarrely I like the perspective I have on life as a result and the fact that they take the piss out of me relentlessly and I like the fact that I had them to come home to (even if you wouldn’t really know it 24 hours later).