THE TWITTERING CLASSES

Sun, Mar 15, 2009

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I signed up to “Twitter” yesterday because my ahead-of-the-times friend has and therefore I have to do the same. Apart from that pathetic Lemming like excuse, I haven’t a clue why I need to be on Twitter. I don’t get it so far. I’m not sure what I am supposed to do or why I would want to do it anyway.

It was a bit of a shame though. Just after I’d signed up I thought, well now what? What can I tell people that I’m doing? All I’m going to do is have a bath and get ready to go out. I can’t write about that – way too dull.

So I have a bath. Get out of the bath. Can’t open bathroom door. Handle completely stuck. Shout for children. Nobody hears me. Shout a bit louder but lots of cool teenagers downstairs listening to really loud music and I’m trying to shout in a cool way, which obviously doesn’t work because you can’t shout about being stuck in the loo in a cool way. Daughter finallly comes up. Pathetically wobbles door handle a little bit. Goes away laughing. Son comes and does the same. All the teenagers come and do same and laugh that mother is stuck in bathroom. I ask daughter to open her window. All go away laughing. I cobble together some sort of outfit fashioned from things found in bathroom cupboard. Un-ironed children’s clothes combined with artfully wrapped towels. I climb out of bathroom window and jump onto the flat roof below, praying that I’m not going to crash through the roof and into the kitchen where my teenagers are being cool. My neighbour is gardening and has spotted me but is pretending he hasn’t. Which is a good thing. Because I don’t want to have to explain why I’m dressed like Gandhi on my roof. I then have to climb in through my daughter’s window whilst attempting to not let the neighbour get more than a flash of my bits. All thoughts of trying to look cool now completely gone.

Son needs a shower. So has to reverse the process. I was quite pleased because when he had to climb back out through the window he shouted “mum, how the hell did you do this?” (all that how-to-be-bendy-training finally paid off).

So. How typical. During that time I didn’t have my phone with me to “Twitter” a story starting with “oh dear, what can the matter be?”. What a shame.

 

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16 Responses to “THE TWITTERING CLASSES”

  1. Fat, frumpy and fifty... Says:

    great bedtime story thanks!

    Reply

  2. ciara Says:

    i've been twittering for awhile now. you should download tweetdeck, it will make twitter easier for you. it's almost like im'ing but limited to 140 characters. if you'd like, you can add me as a friend. just go to 'find people' then 'user name'…it's ciaraj13. sometimes you type what you're doing…but not the lame stuff. twittering that you were stuck in the bathroom and all the teens couldn't get you out & laughing, that's super tweet worthy :) lol sorry you were stuck :-/

    Reply

  3. Miranda Says:

    That is truly hilarious!

    Reply

  4. karen Says:

    I’ve been catching up on all your posts since friday! thanks for making me laugh out loud with the bathroom door/teenagers episode!! You do have such a way with words!! x

    Reply

  5. Wife in Hong Kong Says:

    Hilarious story and what a cool exit you made. Was bashing the door down really the best BB could do?

    Reply

  6. Brother no. 1 Says:

    Should be called Twatter not twitter IMHO. What an inane waste of time. Still, no doubt you’ll get loads of twit awards for your trophy case and CV to make it feel worthwhile….. Xx

    Reply

  7. Mud in the City Says:

    I know I shouldn’t laugh at your predicament – but just couldn’t help it! Esepcially the Ghandi comment. I now ahve a very peculiar (and amusing) image in my mind. Thank you.
    Word veri is “pshev” – an exclamation you might like to use next time you are climbing through a bathroom window.

    Reply

  8. Expat mum Says:

    I don’t quite get the Twitter thing either so have resisted. I mean, we blog about everything and I know that no one wants to hear a minute by minute account of my life. Yours, on the other hand…

    Reply

  9. Dumdad Says:

    Never a dull moment chez toi!

    Reply

  10. family affairs Says:

    Thx Ciara I’ll sort that then Lx

    I know, it was quite funny and you’re right WIHK – not sure why my door needed such brute force!

    Bro. No. 1 you will be pleased to know that i now have Barack Obama following me on Twitter! Lx

    I know Mud, it really wasn’t a good look Lx

    Yes, that’s the problem Expat Mum, why on earth would I want to put anymore “me” information out there – quite enough already. Thought it would be a way of finding out about everybody else though! Lx

    Reply

  11. Reasons to be Cheerful 1,2,3 Says:

    I am not quite sure what the point of twitter is, well not until now that is. Let that be a lesson to you, take the phone to the loo. Teenagers are fab aren’t they?!

    Reply

  12. ALMOST MRS AVERAGE Says:

    Oh what a tale LOL and if you had your phone you could have twittered away like Stephen Fry trapped in his lift. And Twitpics could have kept you entertained as well. :-D

    Reply

  13. family affairs Says:

    Yes. If only I had had my phone Lx

    Reply

  14. http://reluctantmemsahib.wordpress.com Says:

    very very funny. Gandhi exiting from bathroom window just about finished me off.

    Reply

  15. Nick | Mom Most Traveled Says:

    Ha! That cracked me up. Hilarious :)

    Reply

  16. Frog in the Field Says:

    OHMYGOD!!!
    Imean to say..OHMYGOD!!

    Reply


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