OK. Back home from the pub with my father after visiting my mother in hospital. Although, please don’t tell her that we went out for supper because she was expecting us to stay at home and not cope whilst eating defrosted (but still cold in the middle) bags of chilli con carne that she has been cooking and freezing in bite size portions for months.
So far she appears to be doing ridiculously well. I am amazed. Admittedly she is in some pain, but after seeing her surgeon and looking at the x-rays of her newly re-structured spine, it is no surprise that her stomach and back are sore. Bloody hell. What a work of art. You really wouldn’t believe the amount of metal work going on inside her – it’s extraordinary. She got up today. But apparently she walked sideway – which was slightly worrying – I hope that doesn’t mean the surgeon has put her pelvis back on at the wrong angle.
So now that I can breathe a sigh of relief because she’s on the mend and has survived major surgery, I have resorted to grumpy teenage behaviour and am wishing that I was in Australia, as originally planned. It was my X’s turn to have the kids so I knew I had a week to play with. I nearly booked it months ago. I was going out to see my friend who has now been in Melbourne over a year. My kids were meant to be skiing with my X but things have changed now that he’s getting remarried. According to my kids he was late home last night because he and his fiance were celebrating their first anniversary….it was exactly this time last year that I went on holiday with my boyfriend and his three children and two of mine and whilst we were away his ex wife (who had never met my ex husband) texted my X husband and suggested going out for a drink. It just goes to show how taking control of a situation and making things happen can change your life dramatically and bugger everybody else…..
Anyway, so instead of lying on a beach in the sunshine, not only have I been visiting my mother in hospital and spending time with my father at home, I have been visiting my grandmother in her nursing home. Here is the (very loud because she’s almost completely deaf) conversation we had in the TV room, with about 8 other nearly dead people listening:-
I walk in and stand at the door and wave at her. She looks the other way and then back to me and waves feebly and frankly unenthusiastically. I go over to her and she says “OH LORE” or “OH LAW” – whatever – it’s something she has said for her entire life and means something akin to “OH F*CKING HELL, WHAT A NIGHTMARE”. It makes you feel immediately unwelcome. Then she says “I was just saying doesn’t that girl at the door look like my granddaughter – but you are my grand-daughter – what are you doing here?” The room is full to the brim of people either trying to watch TV or be asleep or converse with other family members. My grandmother doesn’t have her hearing aid in so she talks very loudly. “SO. WHY ARE YOU HERE? You mustn’t come again to see me, there’s no point. Thanks for the biscuits you bought me but I’m not a biscuit person and can you believe that everybody is watching MY TV without even asking and although I don’t mind if they don’t pay much for it, I mean I”m not going to send them a bill obviously, I do think they should pay something….and I consistently shout back at her that it’s not her TV at all, but she chooses not to hear me….WHAT IS THAT WOMAN WEARING OVER THERE? ARE THEY HER GRANDCHILDREN? SHAME. THEY’RE NOT VERY ATTRACTIVE ARE THEY? WHAT DO YOU THINK? ANYWAY THEY SHOULD KNOW THEY’RE MEANT TO BE GIVING HER PRESENTS INSTEAD OF KEEPING THEM FOR THEMSELVES AND LOOK AT HER HAIR AND HAVE YOU SEEN HER LEGS AND WHY ARE YOU HERE AGAIN? And so on and so on until I wished I had a tardis that could whisk me to Melbourne immediately.
Hopefully I’ve notched up a few reincarnation points now, but I bet it doesn’t work like that. In fact, I’ve probably lost many more additional points and have dropped many levels for even thinking about it….
February 19th, 2010 at 12:40 am
I know I shouldnt but your conversation with your Grandmother did make me laugh…reminded me of similair ones with my mother-in-law, I remember a post you wrote ages ago about her and some ashes?? She atrikes me as what would have been called a bit of a character. Hate to make you even more envious but I am off to Oz, Sydney, next Tue for a month to see my sister. Have already been on the 10 day weather forcast!!!
Glad to finally see a photo of you from the function, you looked lovely, your ex must need to go to Specsavers, I bet thats what gets up his nose
February 19th, 2010 at 3:39 pm
Thanks Chris – I’m SO jealous of your trip to OZ. Have a great time. Send pictures and little bags of heat lx
February 19th, 2010 at 3:18 am
You have good karma points coming out of your ears!
Now pour a large glass of wine and bathe in their radiance….
February 19th, 2010 at 3:38 pm
Took your advice and oozed wine. VG idea. Lx
February 19th, 2010 at 3:44 am
That’s great news about your mum – and a hilarious recounting of the conversation with your grandmother!
Cannot believe it is just a year since the ex/girlfriend revelation. Or a year already. Still such a mindblowing situation.
And I am sorry you are not in Melbourne too – Australia is one of my favourite places to go.
ps. Loved the photo of you with the Duchess of Cornwell!!
February 19th, 2010 at 3:37 pm
Thanks Nicola – I know. A whole year. What a nightmare year that was!! Lx
February 19th, 2010 at 5:01 am
heh he heh….oh. you’ve definitely collect mega browny points. enough to get you melbourne. x j
February 19th, 2010 at 3:37 pm
I bloody hope so! Lx
February 19th, 2010 at 5:45 am
Lord, let me avoid real old age. xx
February 19th, 2010 at 3:36 pm
It really is most unattractive Lx
February 19th, 2010 at 7:55 am
I’m glad to hear that your mother is doing so well – it sounded like quite an operation. Old People’s Homes – well, I’m glad to say that the Ex’s grandmother had a really lovely one full of lovely people. It’s hit or miss, really.
Shame about Melbourne, but there will be another chance – and time spent with your dad is precious
xx
February 19th, 2010 at 3:36 pm
Thanks Zed and you’re right. Another time….Lx
February 19th, 2010 at 8:01 am
By far the best post I’ve read today. Great job. Hope to read more of the good stuff from your site.
February 19th, 2010 at 3:36 pm
Thanks v much Lena! Lx
February 19th, 2010 at 9:36 am
great news about your mother. I know i shouldn’t laugh but i couldn’t help myself when you were talking about your gran. i would love to have seen the looks on other peoples faces.
February 19th, 2010 at 9:52 am
Love the description of your granny… and yes, your reward will be great in heaven… glad to hear your mum is OK… now it seems you can plan that beach holiday. Sounds like you deserve it..x
February 19th, 2010 at 3:35 pm
Thanks LWM xx
February 19th, 2010 at 7:04 pm
Awww, I hope your mother makes a speedy recovery….sounds as though it’s an awful operation. What a shame that you got to miss out on your trip to Australia though.
Still can’t believe they’re marrying so soon but expect you think the same. People are mad aren’t they….
Take care of yourself, my fingers are crossed for you that you can plan another trip very soon. X