“I’m worried about you” said my mother on the phone today. She’s never said that in her entire life.
Why would she be worrying? It’s not like I’m planning to leave the country next week to meet Mickey Mouse and Woody from Toy Story instead of teaching my classes and looking after my children. It’s not as if I’ve bought a pair of shoes with bows on the front and am looking for a red polka dot skirt to confuse Mickey when I meet him. It’s not like I’m looking for the right size paper bag with one eye hole in the middle to wear whilst abroad.
It’s not like I’m sinking under the weight of all the emotional detritus that’s hurling around my head.
It’s not like I’ve got to host an auction of promises to raise money for an African school tomorrow and remain calm.
It’s not like I’m about to prance about like an idiot in front of 5 girlfriends and their teenage daughters because we’ve decided to get them moving a bit so instead of doing a stretch class I’ve got to do an aerobics class which I haven’t done since the 80′s – I’ve been practicing the “Grapevine” and looking for my sparkly leg warmers.
It’s not like I’m teaching any extra classes and am virtually running from A to B or am feeling slightly under the weather.
It’s not like I had a hysterical fit of laughter with a friend today when I told her where I was going next week. She’s going to be in Albania at the same time. Saving people. She’s been talking to Bianca Jagger. She’s working for a worldwide charity. She is going to be in a mud hut. I am going to be in Cinderella’s castle.
It’s not like we’ve just had the worst budget on earth and everybody who earns anything will shortly be leaving the country and the economy is unlikely to recover because this will lead to a total collapse of confidence and I suspect that it won’t be long before investors decide that a return to fiscal stability is such a remote possibility that they will turn their back on us.
It’s not like the government’s forecasts could still be very far away from a far worse scenario.
However. Because she has said that I AM BEGINNING TO WORRY A LITTLE BIT MYSELF.
I told you the “Keep Calm and Carry On” thing was bollocks. “NOW PANIC AND FREAK OUT” and then what?
Escape to Disney World.
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:45 am
Nothing whatsoever to worry about then.
Worry beads anyone?
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:55 am
Either that or hide under the duvet with a bottle of gin.
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:56 am
P.S. I’ve tagged you. Sorry!
April 23rd, 2009 at 11:48 am
I swore I’d never go to Disneyland, but after the 24 hours that I’ve had, can I come with you???
Please????
P.S. I’ve already done the “Now Panic and Freak Out” bit.
April 23rd, 2009 at 12:15 pm
It’s not like being so busy won’t keep your mind off all the men hassle and it’s not like you’re going to go away and have a fantasic time and come back totally refreshed because it’s not like at Disney World all your dreams come true!
April 23rd, 2009 at 11:40 pm
I like the duvet and gin idea, maybe not straight though – perhaps with a bit of tonic…
April 24th, 2009 at 2:27 am
Throw yourself into it and at it and have a fantastic time. Forget about psycho ex and not-as-rich-as-she-hopes ex and go and do aerobics for minnie and daffy and take the mickey out of disney and bring him home to show them what surreal really is.
Worried? Nah. Life is just beginning.
Oh, and blog every minute of it.
And before you go, re-watch that Blackadder, the one where “he’s taken to wearing a bag over his head..” i forget which.
Embrace the madness!
April 24th, 2009 at 2:46 am
Blimey. G&Ts all round next week, then!
April 24th, 2009 at 3:57 am
WIHK – packed worry beads Lx
Mud – can I drink G &T's under duvet in Disney World do you think? Lx
You are so right RTBC – there are lots of RTBC!!
Tam – what a lovely comment – you are so right. Life is just beginning and blog it all!! and bring Mickey home Lx
Yes, EM – looking forward to that then Lx
April 24th, 2009 at 4:56 am
Sounds like a trip to the land of Mickey Mouse is just what you need! Try to buy some of those Peruvian worry dolls while you’re there, I find they work a treat (especially after a bottle of Rose!)