Back now. Phew. Can start the year again. My soul is exhausted. My grandmother’s funeral went extremely well – it was a lovely service. My father got very emotional during his address, but I managed to keep it together. A lot of people I had never met, who had only known her in her last few years loved the poem I had written for her – felt it had really captured her spirit, so I was delighted.

My children were wonderful, they supported me and helped serve food and drinks at the wake. My ex was there and that was a huge effort for him – he spent 8 hours in the car, driving there and back in the day. I was very touched. He liked my grandmother a lot.

The woman who was married to my father’s brother came. She had only been married to him for three months and then he drowned. She met my grandmother at his funeral for the first time. How hideous is that. It must be very strange for her to be with us. He was the love of her life, apparently, but fortunately she went on to marry and have three children and a different life. It must be hard to be reminded of everything that she lost when she sees us. Is she still technically my aunt? She is such a lovely woman, I’d like to keep in touch with her, but wonder if perhaps she’d rather close the book…

Last night, we had a wonderful evening all together – my uncle was there from Australia and my cousin. It all went horribly wrong once the whisky appeared, but that was fairly inevitable. My father challenged us all to come up with an interesting statement, but I can’t remember why or what anybody else’s was. Mine was “nothing is permanent”. What an interesting reaction. Some people hated the concept. Found it depressing, whilst other’s loved it. I said it was meant to suggest that change was a good thing…

  1. We lost my older brother in a tragic accident when I was 12. I had always been very close to both him and his high-school sweetheart(they were 10 yrs. older than me)–I had grown up referring to her as my “future sister”. After his death, it was too painful for our families to stay in touch, but 15 years later, I “found” her and we’ve kept up a very nice friendship–even though she married and divorced and married again and is now the mother of 3. To this day, she still says my brother was her true love. At first, I thought I was being unfair to her current husband, but I’ve since learned that he is a very understanding man. Based on my experience, it might bring your aunt some comfort in having that connection.
    One thing I’ve learned from my crazy topsy-turvy life is that death and divorce don’t necessarily change all relationships. I recently ran into a former stepcousin, and she immediately introduced me to her husband as her ‘long lost cousin’. As you said, nothing is permanent but some things will never change.

    P.S. What do you think about Amy Winehouse’s new blonde ‘do?

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