“All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveller is unaware” Martin Buber This time last year my two brothers and I were in Zambia on a mission. A very important mission. To deliver our father’s ashes back to the Victoria Falls as per his dying wish. We totally succeeded […]
Posted by Family Affairs on 30-11-2009 in BLOG / DIVORCE tagged with rainbows / Richard Dawkins / stepmothers
What an unusual day I’ve had. Surreal, almost.
Firstly I had to deal with a kitchen explosion created as a result of the highly successful meal we had last night served by five gorgeous boys to 15 impressed adults. They did a great job and it was lovely to have them about. They made the most bloody awful mess, but what the hell….here is one of their choices of puddings with attractive centrepiece:-
Then Builder Bloke came round and took me out for lunch. I haven’t seen him much of late, but he’d asked me a while ago if he could see me over the weekend and lunch today was the only time I was free. He helped me move everything back to normal, mended my back gate that had been broken into and then off we went in my car. It was pissing with rain. You could hardly see a thing.
Ten minutes into the drive my ex husband called, who I haven’t talked to for ages. He asked me if I had a few moments as he wanted to talk to me about something. “As a matter of courtesy” he said, “because I’ve told the children and they’re all really happy, I thought I should let you know that we’ve got engaged and we’re getting married next year”.
In case you haven’t been following my blog, he is getting married to Builder Bloke’s ex wife, so it was completely bizarre that he called at that moment when we were together. I told him I hoped they’d be very happy together (slightly through gritted teeth but I said it anyway) but that it all seemed so sudden – they’ve been together 9 months now – ever since she phoned him when we went away on holiday together back in February. He disagreed, obviously.
I went very quiet. It’s a lot to take in. I wasn’t sure how I felt or how my children were feeling about it and Builder Bloke was remarkably calm in comparison. It was still pissing down. He drove me to one of his favourite pubs. He parked and as I got out and walked round the corner down to the river there was the biggest, brightest, double rainbow I have ever seen. I could see the whole thing. Both ends. But look where I was standing….right in front of the pot of gold:-
We had a lovely lunch mulling over all that the latest news could mean and during that time he got a text from his ex wife informing him of her impending nuptials. It said:-
“Hi, and whilst on the subject, just as courtesy I thought u should know that we’ve got engaged and intend to get married next yr. Boys know. They r happy. Hope u can manage to behave appropriately with regards 2 children as a parent should cos if they get messed up emotionally again cos u don’t want me 2 (not that it’s any of your business who I c or marry) there will be action taken 2 keep them happy and away from horridness”.
I was completely shocked. In the spirit of attempting to heal rifts et al, you’d think she’d be a little more sensitive to how he is feeling and to his situation. He will now have to deal with my ex husband living with his children in no doubt a big house. Given what I went through with my ex he is not particularly enamoured with the idea.
A few hours later I found myself at Wellington College with a friend and my son listening to a debate entitled “Is Atheism The New Fundamentalism?” with Richard Dawkins arguing against the motion. So interesting. I’ll write a separate post about it – as we went in we had to say whether we were for or against the motion and I was really struggling to get my head around the question, so need a bit more time to process thoughts.
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